Aham Vyaktam

Un kangalai kandu kaadhalikkirai ena ninaithu naan kaadhalil vizhundhen...
Un kangalai kandaal ellorukkume appadi thaan thondrum enbadhu theriyaamal...

Today morning was so scary.
I was waiting to take a left on an intersection unguarded by traffic lights.
Though I had used my windshield wiper before starting off from home, it completely skipped my mind that the road was wet.
I saw a car coming on the far left and a truck coming on the far right.
I, for sure, had plenty of time to take my left before both the cars approached me.
So I steered to my left with the normal speed I used to used to turn and for a split second, I didnt know how the car behaved, it went to the right a little and then left a little and finally ended up in the lane with oncoming traffic in the opposite direction.
All I could do was yell holy shit and am glad I had paid attention while reading the driving handbook before my driving written test, I just took my legs off the gas pedal and pumped the brake, not slamming it. I got back into my senses with my legs shaking and had enough time to pull over to my right before there was any car near me.
It just skipped my mind that you should reduce speed on a wet road and I was about to end up in a hospital, possibly making my birthday a....well, I dont wanna complete the sentence.
I am just hoping that something big that came for me got averted by this lil mishap.

Guys, take the driver's handbook seriously and concentrate while you drive and more than anything, dont be overconfident!

Am really glad am alive!

There were days when the people who have physical disability were called “physically disabled” or “handicapped”. Those words, in addition to being indecorous, instilled in us an unwanted (probably undesirable by those people) sympathy towards such people.

Then there came a more dignifying term “physically challenged”.

Lately, I heard somewhere someone calling them “differently able” which was so interesting.

“Differently able” is the most solicitous one I have ever heard and am gonna start using it hereafter to address differently able people. This word is capable of removing the unwanted sympathy and can make us feel they are normal or in a way, special.

Prasath anna. The first guy who became very close to me.
I was 14. My mom said a new family was coming to inhabit the opposite house. She also said that there is a guy in their family who was onto his 11th grade. During those days, whenever I heard someone talk about school going guys/girls, the first thing I used to wonder was “will he/she study well”, myself being so obsessed about securing the first rank during my schooling. So I had already started contemplating about that guy’s studies even before I met him.

There was a 6 year old girl, neighbor, who was my pet. One day when I was coming back home from a temple, she came running to me and pointing to a guy in our opposite house, she said “anna asked what grade you are in”. I looked at that guy and was thinking if this was the guy I was contemplating about. But he seemed too elderly for a 11th grader. I just gave a smile, and he said “hope you’ll not mistake me for asking about you to that kid”. I said “I am in the 9th grade. You?” He said “Am done with degrees and awaiting a job”. So he must be the guy’s elder brother, I was thinking. After sharing our names, we parted. That’s how Babu anna started saying a hi to me everytime he saw me and have also given me suggestions to study.

The next person who became dear to me was the guy’s mother. Maami was an impressive person and she mingled with me and my mom in a jiffy. She used to talk to me as if I was her daughter. She once called me to her house to give me some pudding she had prepared. That was the first time I saw that guy. He was sitting on the sofa, perpendicular to how we should sit on a sofa, with legs on the hand rest, watching tv (I think I absorbed my weird positions on sofa from him). When I went in, maami said it was Prasath. He turned and gave me a look and when I was about to utter a smile, he turned away back to the tv again. I was like “okayyyy”. That’s how I first met that guy. Not a pleasant first impression, you might have judged :-)

I was in 10th grade and Babu anna had been to Hyd and had bought me studs and bangles. I went to his home to get them and saw Prasath anna in his room. Maami said he likes Tamil and had scored well in Tamil too and so asked me to get suggestions from him on how to study (My school had secured more state ranks in language papers and I was expected by my teachers to grab one in 10th). He just gave me a smile and I left. I never talked to him.

My 10th exams got over and my results came back as 90% with pathetic scores in languages. I definitely had done super well, and it was a terrible blow. I cried for 3 days and maami, after consoling me for about an hour, took me to her house to watch tv for a change. Prasath anna was watching tv (as always) and even after seeing me crying, he didn’t ask me anything.

Then I joined a new school for 11th grade which was far from home. I had to take 2 buses. Maami said I can go with Prasath anna for half of my travel, as he takes buses too. Thats how I started speaking with Prasath anna. We used to walk to together to the bus stop and board the same bus and take different 2nd buses. He would get ready very soon and I would skip breakfast for not making him wait. He would never speak much during our walk and after getting off the bus, he would just walk to catch his 2nd bus and wouldn’t even care to look what happened to me. I have thought “what sort of a guy wouldn’t even say a bye” :-)

It was difficult for me to go by buses. So dad arranged for school van. And the small talks which we had also vanished.

And one fine evening, when I was sitting in my house doorstep and studying, I saw Prasath anna come out and stand in his doorstep. He just looked at me and gave a smile. I returned the smile and continued studying. Then he came to my doorstep and said a hi and enquired what I was studying. That’s how our friendship started.

He used to come to my doorstep almost daily and we used to talk for hours. Mom would call him inside but he would be persistent on standing out beside the gutter in the mosquito world. We always had something to talk and never ran out of topics. We would enter a squabble when it came to Tamil. He would say its nonsense to choose Sanskrit as my second language just coz I lost marks in Tamil in my previous grade and that Tamil is so much fun to learn. I would say I didn’t wanna shed sweat in studying for language papers and that Sanskrit was the easiest. He used to say some of the Tamil poems he studied in his 10th grade and I used to recite with him, as I was once a Tamil lover.

The major controversy that went on between us was our ages. He would say that he’s younger to me and I wouldn’t admit and kept calling him anna. Finally he admitted that I was younger, after having me explaining what I had to explain. Lets not get into that anyways :-)

Once when I got down from my school van, one of my school mates, on seeing Prasath anna smiling at me, asked me “whos that prince charming?” I told her “he’s Prasath anna” She said “So bad you call him anna” :-) This is how my school mates used to drool over Prasath anna. And that particular school mate of mine, when she met me before 2 years, remembered to ask me how prince charming is :-)
And, the rowdy guys in our street, on seeing me and anna speak, used to ask me “will you speak only to refined guys like him? Not with us?” I would tell them “I call him anna. If you allow me to call you anna, I shall speak with you too” LOL

Those were excellent 2 years. We became so close and I came to know that Prasath anna was nothing I had framed him to be. He was such a pleasant boy, so genuine and so decent. We had never been anywhere together, all we knew was my house doorstep.

Then one day, he came and told me that they are relocating to Chennai. I felt really bad to loose a friend but he seemed pretty strong and never seemed to feel for parting. He never had been expressive of his feelings and I felt its so typical of him to coolly bid a bye and move on. On a Sunday morning, the entire family left and he had come to my home to say goodbye. I was so much in sleep that I couldn’t even see him properly. Once I got up, I cried telling mom that I didn’t even get a last glimpse of him.

We did contact each other after him having gone to Chennai but its never the same as being opposite to each other, is it? Once when I spoke with him, he said he hasn’t befriended anyone there in Chennai, after me. I was in a way happy to hear that :-)
I used to remember his birthday and wish him every year. He says its my call that reminds him of his birthday :-)
And, then coz of distance and my studies in 12th, slowly, we lost touch with each other. Then after landing in a job in Bangalore, I thought of calling him and ransacked my diaries and found his number. Quite unsure if the number still exists, I gave a call and he was there. This time the contact was very short lived and we lost touch again. I lost his phone number and emailid. There was no way for me contact him.

Three weeks back, it struck me to look him up in orkut. And thanks to orkut, I found him. That day, we would have chatted for more than 4 hours. I was able to sense a lot of difference in him. He has become so expressive. It was quite surprising to hear from him how much he had missed me. The Prasath anna I knew would never have said that. I was so happy to see him in a commendable position in his job. He forwarded me his photos and he was nothing like the lean boy who was in my doorstep a decade ago. He had put on weight and had gained so much maturity. I also spoke with maami and I was so happy to hear her speak like how she did a decade ago.

They are living just opposite to the mandapam wherein my wedding happened. If only I had looked him up in orkut 7 months ago, I would have definitely met him on my wedding.

He was very happy to see me established to this extent and he openly appreciated me, which was so not him. He said I look great on seeing my pics but also said that he likes the BVB girl (BVB was my school) with sodabutti better. Many of my friends say that I have changed a lot and I look great now but only Prasath anna said he liked the old naïve simple chirpy girl better. Only the best of best friends can cherish you, however you are, isn’t it?

He said that he makes sure he walks in that street where we lived, whenever he visits that town and seeing those 2 houses of ours brings him so many memories.
There was so much innocence in our minds and all we had to worry about was studies. Those days are never gonna come back. And the friends we made in that age are the ones who'll always remain close to us.

Am glad am back in touch with him and I hope I’ll not loose him again. He had meant a lot to me, may be coz he was my first best friend.

I had admired you a lot anna, and I always will!

Why is everyone with their jackets on? Its 80 outside. Probably they got so much used to jackets for the past several months and wearing them has become so much like wearing shoes. Even though wearing jacket is involuntary, wouldn’t they feel hot once they are out in the street? Wouldn’t the discomfort force them to remove the jacket? I don’t know. May be they are too much engrossed in their jobs that they even forgot about the summer. Or may be they don’t feel 80 is too hot to remove the jacket. If it’s the latter, then its very surprising. It was even more surprising when I saw someone with a trench coat on. At first I thought they were heading towards SFO, which will be 10 degrees less than San Jose, but no, they were heading towards San Jose with me. OOhhh!!

Foreman and 13 knock the door of Kutner. As they get no response, they go in looking around the house. Suddenly 13 runs to a room [only a hand in a pool of blood is visible], followed by Foreman. After a few seconds, 13 pants hard crying and leans against the bed nearby with blood all over her lips (she had tried CPR), saying it’s a shot on the temple.

And in the next scene they say Kutner is dead.

I was going “Whattttttttttt”. It was an incredible scene in House M.D and it took me a few minutes to actually believe Kutner is gone. He was my favorite in House’s team (of course, next to Gregory House), mainly because he was an Indian, a smart good-looking one. Why the hell did the director kill Dr. Kutner?

The news says Kal Penn has been offered a job at the White House and himself, more interested in politics, chose that over acting. House M.D will never be the same for me without Kutner. The obituary in fox website for Kutner was so cool. It was amazing to see a character being given such an importance :-)

Fox had displayed eulogies by Kutner’s colleagues and Gregory House’s page was blank. Hari said it was so like House. House is such an a-hole. If ever I hate and at the same time love someone, then its House.

I’ll miss you Dr. Kutner.

People were moving around, trying to comfort each other, drinking, kneeling beside the dead, but he could not see any of the people he loved, no hint of Hermione, Ron, Ginny, or any of the other Weasleys, no Luna. He felt he would have given all the time remaining to him for just one last look at them; but then, would he ever have the strength to stop looking? It was better like this.

Why do I still cry every time I read these lines, though I would have at least read them umpteen times in the past?

"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"
Mrs. Weasley threw off her cloak as she ran, freeing her arms, Bellatrix spun on
the spot, roaring with laughter at the sight of the new challenger. "No!" Mrs. Weasley cried as a few students ran forward, trying to come to her aid.
"Get back! Get back! She is mine!"

Why do I have yes-come-on-there-you-go feeling every time I read this?

“The true master of the Elder Wand was Draco Malfoy.”
“You’ve missed your chance. I got there first. I overpowered Draco weeks ago. I took his wand from him.”
“Does the wand in your hand know its last master was Disarmed? Because if it does . . . I am the true master of the Elder Wand.”

Why am I not able to get rid of the gasp and the stomach lurch every time I read this, though I knew all along that this is how its gonna be, after so many re-reads?

"you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew."

Why does my respect for Snape bubble up in me every time I read this?

Am clearly spellbound by the story. My mention of this story twice in my blog clearly vindicates it.

I am not gonna stop reading it, even when my daughter (or son, whoever it might be) laughs at me saying mommy reads kids’ stories :-)

Am gonna treasure the book!

As he entered the home yesterday, he said “I may not be so expressive and I might not have given you attention as much as your parents and your friend. But you are very special to me and I bought you this as I felt you would feel the same warmth you had from other important people in your life” and gave me a pink princess basket. I must say I definitely felt like his girl kid, who would feel so elated to have the pink basket.

He had always given me attention and gets me a bouquet every now and then, no matter if its an occasion or not. I don’t know if a mere allusion of my parent’s and friend’s tenderness in my blog can make him feel like this!!!!

Its nice that am a child for someone (of course, the most important person in my life now) other than my parents and my friend.

I spoke with my best friend after a really long time. I have got many emails from that friend asking me to give a call when my time permits, but it took this unchivalrous stupid a year to actually do it. I spoke for about an hour. Thanks to my manager for having given me a permission to work from home :-) I wouldn’t have called even now, had I not known that the friend is leaving for Riyadh.

That friend had been with me since I was 13, I guess. We are friends for more than a decade now. When we spoke yesterday, we realized the friendship hasn’t gone down by even an ounce and we still stay at that reverent position in each other’s hearts. All our sentences started with “Remember when….” How nice it was to talk about our remarkable past!

We were laughing to the core when we talked about the very serious fights we had, it sounded so pointless now. I was the one who always initiated a fight (as its always the case with anybody for that matter, but trust me, am not very bad, just a little short-tempered and egoistic) and if I now come to think of it, my friend had been so patient with me, would never utter a word other than sorry, though I had been scornful, vicious and obstinate. I genuinely sought for pardon yesterday. I don’t think anyone can tolerate me like that other than that friend and I still remember my mom scolding that friend that am being spoilt by giving too much of attention and liberty which I am taking advantage of. My friend’s mom and my mom are so proud of our friendship which is still lasting, though we are so distant.

My friend also happened to be my junior in my college and I used to threaten that I would send some guys from my class for ragging :-)
I still remember those days when my friend had been so possessive and refused to give even my emailid to my other juniors LOL. That was funny!!!
Both of us used to watch our favorite movie telecast on a festival day, absolutely immune to all the festivities around. We wouldn’t even care about the bang of the crackers outside :-)
I used to cheat when we played Hollywood but never did a word come from my friend. I always won.

Hari says my parents and such friends have spoilt me, having given me too much attention that its hard for him to meet the same expectations of mine :-)

I miss those days. I wish there’s a way to travel back to those days whenever needed. But then am glad I don’t have a feeling that I missed a chance of having fun in those days. We enjoyed as much as we could when we got a chance to get together.

I know you are reading this my friend!
And I know you have a feeling that I haven’t been much expressive of my friendship all along!
Read this and rest assured that I have always missed you and I always will!

A.R Rahman. I was just staring at the screen for a while after writing his name for want of words. I was praying that ARR should win atleast 1 oscar, if not both. I was clasping the hands and biting my nails when they were about to announce who the oscar for original score goes to. When ARR’s name was announced, I was applauding, screaming and jumping. That was some moment. I was glad they got his name right unlike the Golden Globe. When he said about him having the same excited and terrified feeling he had during his wedding, I was surprised “Was it Rahman who just humored?” When he said “ella pugazhum iraivanukke”, the joy just multiplied. That’s something none would have expected in his Oscar acceptance speech.

I was so glad to see him performing on the Oscar stage and the fusion of Jai Ho with Wall-E was some magic. Did you guys look at the way he did his finishing pose of the performance? Every bit of him was awesome on the day.

I was scared when Hari said he might loose the Oscar for the song category due to split votes between O Saya and Jai Ho. But then he did it once again!! He deserves every bit of the awards. I cant stop watching this video.

Rusel Pookutty is another pride of India. The entire SDM crew is a marvel. I cant believe the kids can speak so well. They rocked on the red carpet.

Am not going to listen to any song other than Rahman’s for the next 1 week. He is decorating my laptop as the wallpaper. He is great in his Indian black dress. I hope Hari doesn’t mind, himself being a die hard fan of Rahman :)

For all those who raised controversies about the movie and for all those who threw mud at Rahman for accepting the offer to direct music for the movie:

Rahman is bringing home the Oscars guys!

Suck it up!!!

So You Think You can Dance has become one of my favourite shows. I have been watching it only since the last season, missed 2 of the seasons before.

People say Jodi No 1 has been copied from this show, but saying so is absolutely derogatory to this American show because the JN standards cannot even stand a few hundred miles away from the standards of this show.

I was/am a person who watched/is watching this JN’s every episode without missing but that doesn’t mean am a fan of it. The latest season of JN has the pairs who have already participated in the previous seasons, even the winners. Why is that? Why should the contestants be only the celebrities? If you run out of celebrities who dance and perform, will you bring on board the previous contenders? That’s insane. Go pick the talents from the streets and showcase them, damn it. I saw JN’s season 3 promo and I wasn’t able to get rid of the girl-who-stamped-shit reaction. What the heck was that. It really didn’t suit you rustic guys and gals. Do what suits you, you dumbos. I don’t blame you for wearing those modern outfits but why do you jacks have to bear that master-of-all look. The one that provokes me the most is Pooja. Why do you have to always munch chicklet and over-act for anything and everything lady? You give the impression of a w*ore I tell you. [This is for “those” who claim me to the biggest fan of JN and this para is to openly disapprove of it]. I’ll be really happy if “those” people brand me to be the fan of So You Think You Can Dance.

Now back to this amazing American show. The talents are being picked from the mass and the choreographers train these people every week for their performances. They dance in pairs initially and as the competition ripens, their solos become important too, and the winner will be one girl/boy and not a pair. And of course, based on America’s voting. Every week after the performances, one boy and one girl will get cut till the final count of contestants are arrived at for the finale. They bring all the styles of dancing and I was applauding when they brought a bollywood routine on stage. The couple who danced it was unbelievably hilarious, except for certain authentic bollywood moves which were made hip-hop and Russian. But that can be forgiven undoubtedly. This is what I can call versatility. Thanks to the choreographers Nakul and Mala.

Every contender’s specialization would be contemporary or hip-hop and it’s quite amazing to see them adapt other styles starting from disco, and samba to ball room and jazz. And there are certain choreographers who embed so much of creativity in the routines, so much of story in the steps. And the contestants certainly do justice to that creativity by bringing it out so well. [A comparison of this to JN season 1 romance round Prem-Pooja performance, which was admired to be creative, leaves me to say “you are fools” to JN’s judges]. The best among the creative choreographers was Mia Michaels. Every routine of hers is just mind blowing. She’s undoubtedly the reigning queen of contemporary. Another one whom I like is Tyce, whose routines will be different too. The styles are so tough and require lot of energy and the dancers can easily be fatigued.

The contestants try their best not to let the fall of energy bleed onto the skin of the dance floor [I pirated this comment from the choreographer Lil’C who judged a week. Man..is he a choreographer or a professor of literature!! I have become a great fan of his vocabulary and eloquence].

I have a lot of favorites amongst the contenders. The one I loved the most was Kherington. She’s a dazzling beauty of 18, from California. She is extremely pretty and there had been no routine, in which I hadn’t fallen for her expressions. Her smile is just breath-taking. She has got the structure to dance, she’s got legs, she’s got everything boy. I just love her. She’s good at dancing too. Give her any style of dancing-she’ll rule. Give her buck, give her krump, she just takes completely a different arrogant personality for those styles, as against the assumed softness on seeing her face.







Another favorite is Twitch. I don’t have anything to say other than that he’s so muscular and majestic and really good at dancing. Am sure he is the one who’s gonna get all the teens’ votes.

I was so happy to see Twitch and Kherington paired and I loved every routine of them. The buck number is the one which I loved the most.





Katee and Will are technically very very sound. Both of them haven’t received any negative comment till now from the judges. I had always felt that Katee and Will should compete in the finale. They are the ones who deserve the stage till the end.

Apart from all these, the host Cat Deeley is a stunning beauty. However crappy a dress you ask her to wear, she can carry it. And she really has a nice sense of humour.

This show has some awful things like the judge Nigel gesticulating with his abnormal maxilla and mandible and the judge Marie lets out a scream as a token of her appreciation which drives everybody deaf. But it surely takes you to an absolute utopia of dance, which you can set your expectations high upon.

Last week my fav Kherington was voted out of the competition to my anguish. It’s the luck which played. Otherwise, she wasn’t the worst at all among the lot. I’ll no more see her in the competition. Last season, there was a very handsome guy Pasha, my fav, who was voted out like this, despite not being the worst. But I got to see him again this season choreographing for a routine. I am hoping to see Kherington too in the forthcoming seasons. Miss you Kherington!!!

This week another shock was that Will was voted out. I couldn’t believe it. What’s happening America? Will was the most technically strongest and he’s chucked out. I wanted him in the finals :( He has great technique and lines and I am sure he’ll not be let unnoticed.

I have Katie and Twitch still in. I am really hoping that Katee should bag the title. Lets see.

I am rickety for reason unknown from yesterday. I feel like rebelling against anything and everything. Even the simplest of things seems to annoy me. I feel like yelling and hitting someone. Why? I don’t know. I am trying to pull all the reasons that come in my mind and try to match it with my behavior but I don’t get the match quite correct. Is it because I am being given a hard time at work by a couple of people who are mulling over my defect for over a week, exchanging hundreds of emails? Is it because there are too many things in my check list to be taken care of and they are putting my peace of mind and confidence in jeopardy? Is it because am becoming very nostalgic of late? Is it because of the wound in my finger caused by a knife, which is so deeply cut to such an extent that it bled for 2 days every time I removed the band-aid to nurse it? They say when you have your physique aching, you turn hysteric. Or is it because work is a lil lazy for the past 2 weeks and am forced to seek things out of my way to engage myself? I really don’t know.

I am like this right from yesterday morning. I don’t even bother to smile at my roomie while getting ready in the morning. I go to office and I, known to be a non-stop nonsense, don’t speak quite well with the team.

When I had to go out of office yesterday afternoon, the weather joined its hands with whatever that’s bothering me. It was scorching hot and I felt as if the sun was piercing a straw into my head and was sucking the whole of me.

I got a sudden feel of longing for my grandma’s lap, and was wondering how it had the eternal cool warmth being a refuge to me helping me forget myself. I would forget all the worries and would catch immediate sleep unbothered on one touch of hers. I was brought back to the present by the honk of a car. I had to wait for my bus in the hell of the heat. I felt like changing into a bikini and plunging into a lake with none around and getting drugged by its comfort.

I got into the bus. I usually like traveling by any means for that matter, no matter how frequently and how long I travel. I enjoy every bit of traveling and I never get over-dosed by it. But this time, I was dragging myself to wherever I had to go. This bus travel was no fascinating and I traveled just coz I had to.

I closed my eyes and sat. I kept getting quirky thoughts, which made me myself feel if I have multiple personality disorder or something. I imagined myself masoning a house.
I saw Harry Potter laughing at me. Who am I? wow, I have now taken up the role of Hermione Granger. Then I saw myself in a classroom, attempting to do an orthographic projection in engineering drawing. Then I thought myself ushered to arm-wrestle with some unknown. Then I imagined myself as a member of Ku Klux Klan, which is the scariest of all my craps. That very thought jolted me back to mySelf. I know it will give an impression that am cooking a psycho out of myself. So I pulled my ipod out to put a bump ahead of my racing imagination horse.

I sunk in a beautiful song. The next song screeched aloud and tore my tympanum out fueling my already irritated mind, that I felt like dashing it against a wall. I felt the ipod is doing no good and so grabbed to my rescue, my habit of observing people. I chose this girl who, by her talks, seemed just graduated. She was preparing herself for the graduation day and was discussing with her friends about dressing. She was telling how shes gonna dress up and that she wants to be the best dressed girl in the party. I, when I had been normal, would have just uttered a smile within myself but this time, I just felt like yelling “you cocky biyatch” at her, to my shame.

I reached home to see my roomie there and bid a reluctant hi to her. I usually ask her about her problems with a concerned note but this time I completely disregarded her. she was saying that she needs to gift one of her friends and was asking me some suggestions and didn’t pay a damn. Sorry my girl – I turn unchivalrous at times. I sincerely apologize!

I sat to watch “So You think You can Dance” with no particular interest unlike usual. Where’s the girl who keeps amused and wowing for every performance? I don’t know.

I had a feel that I should speak with someone close to me. I had my close friends well within reach and I called one of them. I just did usual enquiries and hung up. Above everyone, I had Hari who is more than someone who could listen to me and who can comfort me beyond the ways I want. I called him up and was only able to say “I called you just like that”.

Am I a psychopath? Or am I detached? I don’t wanna consider am either coz I somehow feel everyone goes through such a state seldom without giving it much attention. It just seems a big deal to people, of course like me, who over-kill their brains magnifying even simple matters. Despite my idiotism, I feel am handling myself pretty good by remaining aloof from everything and everyone, giving myself the space to breathe and return to normalcy.

I thought blog is a place where I can vent everything out and it certainly helped. I would have made a fool out of myself though. But I don’t care!

பாலைவனமாய் இருந்தது பேருந்து நிறுத்தம்..
இருபது நிமிடங்களாக காத்திருக்கிறேன்
இன்னும் பத்து நிமிடங்கள் கரைக்க வேண்டியிருந்தது

பே ஏரியாவில் இந்தியர்கள் அதிகம் என்றார்களே
எங்கு பார்த்தாலும் வெள்ளையர்கள்
அதிலும் பெண்கள் மிகக் குறைவு

கண்கள் மூடி அமர்ந்திருந்த நான்
லேசாக இடப்பக்கம் திரும்பிப் பார்த்தேன்
தூரத்தில் ஒரு பெண் நடந்து வந்து கொண்டிருந்தாள்

நிச்சயம் இந்தியப்பெண்
வேறு யாருக்கு வரும் இந்த நளினம்
வெற்றாக இருந்த மனம் துரிதமானது
onsite வந்திருக்கும் software engineer ஆக இருப்பாளோ

இடப்பக்கம் நின்றாள்
எனக்கும் அவளுக்கும் பத்து அடி தூரம்
முகம் தெரியவில்லை
மிகச்சிறிய உடலமைப்பு
எளிமையான தோற்றம்

சிறிது முன்னால் நகர்ந்தேன்
முகம் தெரியும் என நினைத்து

வந்தாள் ஒரு வெள்ளைப்பெண் அவளை நோக்கி
இவள் அவள் பக்கம் திரும்பி பேச ஆரம்பித்தாள்
சே! உள்ளதும் போயிற்று என நினைக்கும்போது
இவள் அவளிடம் சைகையில் ஏதோ சொல்ல
அவள் நகர்ந்தாள்
இவள் அவளுக்கு வழி சொன்னாள் போல..

எனக்கு மறுபடியும் அவளது பாதி உருவம்
பேருந்து வரும் பாதையே பார்த்தாள்
ஏனடி என் பக்கம் திரும்ப மாட்டேன் என அடம்!

காற்று வேகமாக அடித்தது
என்னைக் கடந்து அவளை நோக்கி
அவள் கேசம் கலைத்து

அவள் முகத்தில் கேசம் விழுந்திருக்க வேண்டும்
என்னை நோக்கித் திரும்பினாள்
காற்றை எதிர்கொண்டு கேசம்-முகம் ஊடல் முறிக்க

எனை விட்டுச்சென்ற காற்றை நொந்துகொண்ட நான்
உடனே வாபஸ் வாங்கி, நன்றி கூறினேன்
காற்று எதிர் திசையில் சென்று
அவள் கண்களை என் திசையில் திருப்பியதற்காக!

அவள் முகம் நன்றாக தெரிந்தது - முழுக்க சாத்விகம்
கண்ணாடி இல்லாமல் இன்னும் லக்ஷனமாக இருப்பாள்.

கேசத்தை கோதிவிட்டு முதன் முறையாய் என்னை பார்த்தாள்!

அட! சட்டென திரும்பிவிட்டாளே!
என் கண்கள் அவள் கண்களை சந்தித்துக்கொண்டிருப்பது தெரிந்தும்
அவள் கண்டுகொள்ளவில்லையே!

ஒரு வெள்ளையனை பார்த்திருந்தால் புன்னகைத்திருப்பாள்
தெரியாதவர்களுக்கும் "hello how are you" கேட்கும் கலாசாரமாயிற்றே!
நான் இந்தியன் என்பதால் இந்திய கலாசாரம் அவளுள் புகுந்து விட்டதா?
ஒரு சிரிப்பு சிரித்தால் என்னவாம்.

அவள் ஒரு பேருந்தில் ஏற தயாரானாள்
தைரியத்தை துணைக்குக் கூப்பிட்டு
அவளிடம் சென்று "hello how are you" என்றேன்
அவள் "fine, thank you" என்றாள்

"are you waiting for bus?" என்றேன்
"என்ன அபத்தமான கேள்வி" என்று நினைத்துக் கொண்டிருக்கும்போதே
சொன்னாள் "No, I drove this bus and it broke down, waiting for mechanic" என்றாள்

அட! இவள் நக்கல் கூட அடிப்பாளா?
சிரித்தாள்
கையிலிருந்த தாள் பார்த்து "நீங்க தமிழா" என்றாள்

நான் ஆச்சரியத்தில் "ஓ! நீங்களும் தமிழா" என்று வழிந்தேன்
"பஸ் வந்தாச்சு. பை" சொல்லிப் பறந்தாள்

நான் இதை எழுதிக்கொண்டு அவள் ஏறிய பஸ்ஸில் தான்
நானும் ஏற வேண்டும் என்பதை மறந்தேன்

மறுபடியும் பாலைவனத்தில் 30 நிமிடங்கள்....