Aham Vyaktam

Caution: This post will be a lackluster for non-techies or may be even for techies. The author suggests the reader not to go ahead if he/she is allergic to technical stuff :) [especially Project Managers LOL, pun intended to you-know-who] The other techies – be content if you know how to do these stuff; no worries if these are Espanol to you as there are many sailing in the same boat like me.

Last week was terrible at work. I was pissed off to such an extent that I started throwing everything like a lunatic and my teammate had to ask me leave the place, freshen my mind and come back. Whatever we engaged in, went on toss and not a single thing worked. We had been brooding over them for nearly 3 days but in vain. They were completely new stuff for us and none knew how to proceed. I’ll not be surprised if Google comes back to us with an accolade saying we used their search engine efficiently or sues us for having hogged their servers requesting too many pages.

We had to install Support Pack 7 for Netware 6.5 server. The pain started off with the SP7 not going in one CD and we had to burn a DVD, only to realize that the server didn’t have a DVD drive. So we had to hook up a USB DVD drive, which led us into a different problem. After loading the cddvd NSS file, the DVD was detected and mounted as a NSS volume. But we were not knowing the way to access NSS volume so that we can read the contents of the DVD. Googling went on and on with various search patterns starting from “how to access USB DVD in NW6.5” to “how to access NSS volumes”. The administrative guide said we have to load the cddvd NSS file, by which the CD gets mounted as NSS volume and from there on, you can use it as any other NSS volume. We were like “come on man. We know it. Tell me how to access NSS volume”. I wish the admin guide had ears.

We sensed there’s no point in dragging it and so put the SP7 in 2 CDs and copied the files to the server through the CD drive itself. Finally started installing the SP7. When it asked me if the backup of files is to be done, I gave a yes to be safe. It took nearly 30 mins and came back and said its left with only 3MB and cannot do a backup. [why the hell did it take 30 mins to report it man?] The installation terminated. [why wasn’t it user friendly to ask me if it can proceed with the installation without backup?] Had to start all over again. This time I asked it not to do a backup. Before the install could start, the user was prompted for the username and password, and there came another hitch. In Netware, during SP install, you need to provide the user name in the format “CN=username.O=context”, wherein username and context would have been given during fresh install of Netware. We didn’t know the context part as nobody made a note of it anywhere. Trying different contexts didn’t work. And again we had to exit the installation to go back to the console and grab the context.

Started the install all over again expecting some problem to popup. But this time the installation ended. But when it came up after a reboot, it reached the console screen, unlike usual, wherein it reaches the Netware GUI. The execution of startx loaded the required NLMs but the GUI didn’t start. sheesh!!!!!

As we had a customer request that is to be completed in a week, we decided to manage with the console itself. We had to install the new drivers for our HBAs in the Netware server. We followed the procedure to do it and we had no clue if it went successful or not as the OS didn’t report any thing. So we went and checked the version which was showing 6.9.15. We were supposed to install 6.9o. Now I repented for having made the blunder of not noting the version before starting the upgrade. We thought the upgrade didn’t go well as it was showing 6.9.15 and tried it multiple times. Then we came to know 6.9o is called as 6.9.15 too. Damn!!!! How am I supposed to know when there’s nothing in the server denoting it atleast in brackets?

Another parallel problem which was going on was installation of VMWare ESX 3.5. Our client demanded that it’s to be installed on a 64-bit machine. We had only a few 64’s and choosing a server to do this itself took us about an hour. Once we chose the machine, we put the ESX 3.5 CD in it and rebooted the machine. Started the installation. Suddenly we lost the connection to the server from our KVM and it was displaying “Out of range”. Now what? Then we came to know that the install screen is of mismatching resolution with that of the KVM. So we hooked up a monitor and keyboard to the server and completed the installation. Once the server came up, it wasn’t able to detect the storage. What are we to do with a void system without storage? How am I to create virtual machines without storage? After half-a-day of delving, we found that the SATA in the server is not compatible to hold ESX 3.5. Phew!!!!

Then chose a HP Blade Server 64-bit to install ESX. None had worked on Blade servers in my team and we found it difficult to even boot from the CD. Win2K3 was booting up properly but the ESX didn’t, reporting virtual media not found. :(

We left that as such and migrated to another task of upgrading our multipathing s/w in all the servers. This had a few little hurdles when it came to HPUX like sharing the CDROM, mounting it in HPUX (which initially didn’t auto-detect the drive and I had to do an ioscan followed by insf to install device files) and then access it. The upgrade started and ended pronto, reporting “no space in /opt”. Okayyyyy….Now we had to extend the logical volume of /opt, for which we had to reboot the system to get into single user mode and then extend it. Once it was extended, we again started the upgrade which went on fine this time. The server was rebooted and when it came up, we started mounting the logical volumes from our storages. It failed displaying “no device or address” error. There came the most painful process. We had to delete the /etc/lvmtab and recreate it with new volume groups and lvols. And finally the server was set.

Parallelly, we had to install linux 5. my teammate had requested the lab administrator for the linux 5 CD and the admin had said he had kept it on our lab desks. When we looked for it, we found only one linux 5 CD with a like-license-key written on it. I went and told my teammate satirically that I never knew linux came in a single CD :) When we were speculating what does a license key written over the CD have to do with linux and whether it requires us to register in the redhat site and get the remaining CDs on providing that key, my teammate decided to phone up the admin ask him what it is all about. The reply he got was “you had asked only for CD1 in your email. So I gave you only the CD1”. My team mate, who was confused, told him that he wanted all the CDs and hung up. He went and checked his email to the admin and it read “Can you pls give us the linux 5 update 1 CD?”. Heck!!!! He mistook the “1” for “update” to be for CD. How dumb. Will the “update” stand alone and will it not strike a newbie even that the update would have a number? Uffff…..i asked my teammate who the admin is and he showed me his name in the email. He was a sardarji. LOL. Are all the sardarji jokes true then? Mmmm…..

Wasn’t it a hard time at work? Yeah, I can hear a loud yes.

Attempting to break the jinx. I hope there’s no spell cast on me this week.

This is an instance which left me completely blank, not knowing how to react.

Featuring: Me and my American colleague

Anu: Wassup dawg?

Victor: Hey. Got 2 minutes? Wanna speak with you. Patio?

Anu: Sure. Any problem?

Victor: None and its personal.

Anu: Oh

Victor: I have a good news. Am in love.

Anu: Wow. Congrats!!!!!

Victor: Will you marry me?

Anu: Wh Wh What the …..

Victor: Hey cool. No anger and no yelling alright? I just felt, I said. Just say yes or no.

Anu: Didn’t it strike you am engaged?

Victor: Well, you are just committed, not married, are you? I wouldn’t have cared if you were married too.

Anu: Was that supposed to be taken as a good news by me?

Victor: Answer is what I need.

Anu: You know it. You needn’t wait to hear it from me too.

Victor: Alright. Am getting engaged. Wish me luck.

Anu: (Frown)

Victor: I liked two girls and you are one among them. I already proposed to another girl and she accepted. I still wanted to propose to you and marry you if you accepted. Now that you denied, am getting engaged with the other girl. Isn’t that a good news now? Ok. Thanks for your 2 mins. Catch you later.

Anu: (speechless. How am I supposed to react? ) Congrats. All the best. Bye.



This was the shortest proposal I have ever heard/seen. It ended in a jiffy. It was hard for me to detect if he was serious or playing some prank on me.

This wasn’t the first time someone is proposing to me but this was a lil eerie and it left me blank. I had always been a girl who had delved deeper trying to analyze what invited a proposal, but this time, I didn’t feel I have to.

This American proposal was precise, direct, no drama, the guy wasn’t sweating and swallowing the driblets in his throat and there was no trace of hard feeling on his face when I denied and I liked it. But when I sat back and thought about it, there arose a questionnaire for which I could hardly answer.

Why did he propose to me, myself being poles apart from him, with respect to habits, ethnicity, et al? Why would a guy propose to a girl, when another girl had just accepted him and they had planned to get engaged? How dare he proposed to me knowing am engaged? How did he take my denial so easily? Does it mean he is not a guy who is serious about relationships and he just needed a companion to hang out with? I dunno.

This proposal made me go hind a coupla years and more – my college, my school, when I received proposals. Obviously a beautiful girl like me [lifting my collar, shrugging my shoulders, raising my eyebrows) would receive in umpteens, wouldn’t she? [Fine. I know that’s too much. To quench your “errrrrrrr” reaction, here I go:] Any girl, irrespective of whether she’s a great beauty or average-looking, would have received atleast a proposal during her journey from 15 to getting committed and I was no exception.

I had always wanted an arranged marriage and denied every proposal that came in. I have seen guys feeling very bad once you deny their proposal. They will always wear a pitiful look. They hesitate to see you on your eyes. I have realized, lost-love-guy-reactions they show in the movies are no exaggerations. The reactions would be at heights when it comes to “your best friend -> loves you -> proposes -> you deny -> you keep away from him”.

At such instances, at the corner of your heart, you would feel nice since attention was being given to you. The feeling that a guy is yearning for you would make you feel feminine [well, we cannot be blamed. If guys brood over the failure, creating so much drama, girls will take advantage of it]. But that’s just in a corner of your heart. Genuinely you would feel sorry for him with all your heart but there would be nothing you could do about it. It’s just a phase and you have to pass it, thinking things would be fine as time rolls on and would teach the people, maturity. I was sure that there would come a day wherein, those guys when thinking about this, would hit their forehead laughing, realizing how stupid they have been.

There was one such best friend of mine in my college. He was my best friend in college and turned a guy who loves me after we were out of college. I had always chosen to keep away from the guys who had proposed to me and I did the same with him. We lost touch and last month when I was informing my friends of my engagement, I got reminded of him. I ransacked my diaries and got his number, gave him a call and told him I got engaged and will be sending him invitation for marriage and hung up. Two days back I received an email from him and I almost fainted. It was a 200-liner email. I thought it would take an hour for me to finish reading it. He had mentioned the days we were friends in the college and had said that they still remain green. He had written that he listened to “O maname” song from “Ullam Ketkume” wherein, the hero would happen to attend his girl’s marriage [Shaam would attend Asin’s marriage, and Asin would be a Brahmin J]. He had said that he can relate to that song very well. Laughter was at the tip of my lips on reading this, but I didn’t wanna laugh. It was kinda immature to me but I didn’t wanna despise that email. I just wanted to leave it at that. Am a person who normally replies to a one-liner email with a 4-liner, but I chose not to reply this email. I just moved it to trash. I never have felt guilty as I had never intended, or rather imagined to pull a guy towards me. I had always felt my slate is clean. Anyways.

Oh yeah. That American guy left me to retrospect, which led to comparisons between these western guys and our native guys. This proposal never made me feel special unlike the others in the past [hehehehe]. I wanna censure this white guy to be disregarding relationships rather than complimenting him to be emotionally stable. I had heard/read/seen the western morality but I tasted it myself this time.

A 2-min American proposal and a 2-hour thinking left me just one notion that our guys are the best.

I salute you guys!!!!!

PS: No disrespect intended to any one.

I saw this movie Pride and Prejudice last week. It was released in 2005 and I know am the last person to see it, yet, I wanted to do a line or two about this movie now, as I liked it very much.

My guy was excited about the movie as it had Keira Knightley starring, while I was wondering if I would get anyone in the movie to drool over. The movie commenced with every cast uttering “Mr. Bingley” which made me think he is the hero of the movie. When I saw Simon Woods as Mr. Bingley, I was a little disappointed, duhing as my notion that the guys would look stupid in regency-style costumes came true. As I was cursing the director of the movie since my guy had someone to admire at, to my envy and vice versa couldn’t happen, there came a handsome good-looking guy who, everybody quoted Mr. Darcy. Matthew Macfadyen as Mr. Darcy was a perfectly adorable thing with his magnificence glowing in that attire. I was wishing he should be shown through out the movie, irrespective of him being a hero or not [As I haven’t read the novel, nothing I knew about which character has what importance]. The story was moving on only to teach me that Mr. Darcy is the man of the movie. The movie was after the novel Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I heard that the depiction in the novel was so emoting that it brings a lady into tears when she reads it.

While my guy kept saying that there’s something about Keira though she isn’t that great a beauty and that her eyes speak and have a tickling mischief, I was ogling at Matthew, completely disregarding the person next to me.

I was awe-struck by the dialogues in the movie. I would say the beauty of the movie was vested with its dialogues and it was a relief to hear that the screenplay didn’t force them to be different from the original masterpiece of Jane Austen. I have to say that the dialogues were so long and the words embedded in them were bombastic that we had to turn the captions on in the TV to comprehend them. They were pleasant to the ears too and I wanted to redo the movie without captions to enjoy the verbal more. I wonder how many rehearsals they would have had to shoot a scene. But one thing which was nagging about the dialogue was the straight flow of them without any modulations while speaking which, I felt, killed the emotion in the voice the actors were trying to bring out. Everybody was plain in their vocals. May be the intention was to bring the emotions in the eyes and the face of the actors, than in their voices. Or may be that’s the way the parlance was at that age. I dunno. The movie makers know better I believe.

Mr. Darcy had done a really good job and my most favorite scene is the one wherein Mr. Darcy would have saved his dignity much by not showing on face that he’s hurt by the words of Lizzie when he proposes his love for her and she denies. The audience can however understand from his words that he’s hurt but he still maintains rigidness in his face not showing it.

Another thing which I liked in the movie is the bow everybody does as a sign of greeting the person they meet. It is such a graceful bow and I loved it.

The palaces where the movie is shot were gorgeous and the sculpture ensemble was a perfect fit.

It’s a nice story on the whole which can be given a go when you feel like doing nothing on a rainy gloomy Friday evening or watching something like a light stream without noise.

The following picture decorates my laptop as the wallpaper now, to the envy of you-know-who :)

Here are the snippets of dialogues in the movie which still buzz in my ears:

Netherfield Butler: A Mrs. Bennet, a Miss Bennet, a Miss Bennet and a Miss Bennet, sir.
Caroline Bingley: Oh for heaven's sake, are we to receive every Bennet in the country?

Mr. Collins: Every mind must have some counsellor to whom it may apply for consolation in distress. There are many conveniences which others can supply and we cannot procure. I have in view those objects which are only to be obtained through intercourse. Forgive me, through the intercourse of friendship or civility.

Mr. Darcy: Do you talk, as a rule, while dancing?
Elizabeth Bennet: No... No, I prefer to be unsociable and taciturn... Makes it all so much more enjoyable, don't you think?

Mr. Bennet: Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins... And I will never see you again if you do.

Elizabeth Bennet: Your unfortunate brother once had to put up with my playing for a whole evening.
Georgiana Darcy: But he says you play so well.
Elizabeth Bennet: Then he has perjured himself most profoundly.
Mr. Darcy: No I said, "played quite well."
Elizabeth Bennet: Oh, "quite well" is not "very well." I'm satisfied.

Mr. Darcy: How are you this evening, my dear?
Elizabeth Bennet: Very well... although I wish you would not call me "my dear."
Mr. Darcy: [chuckles] Why?
Elizabeth Bennet: Because it's what my father always calls my mother when he's cross about something.
Mr. Darcy: What endearments am I allowed?
Elizabeth Bennet: Well let me think...”Lizzie" for every day, "My Pearl" for Sundays, and...”Goddess Divine"... but only on *very* special occasions.
Mr. Darcy: And... what should I call you when I am cross? Mrs. Darcy...?
Elizabeth Bennet: No! No. You may only call me "Mrs. Darcy"... when you are completely, and perfectly, and incandescently happy.
Mr. Darcy: [he snickers] Then how are you this evening... Mrs. Darcy?

Mr.Bennet: I cannot believe that anyone can deserve you. But it seems I am overruled. So I heartily give my consent. I could not have parted with you my Lizzie, to anyone less worthy.
Elizabeth Bennet: Thank you.
Mr.Bennet: If any young men come for Mary or Kitty, for heaven's sake, send them in. I'm quite at my leisure.

I called up my mom yesterday and she had a lot in store for me, the “lot” was spun around the same point though. After the usual enquiries about health and work, here goes the conversation between us:

Me: Anything noteworthy mom?

Mom: Nothing much. I wanted to tell you something since long about your to-be-mom-in-law.

Me: [aiyayo, is Saturn waiting] Any problem mom?

Mom: Not at all.

Me: [a sigh of relief though had a feel “is that a tranquil answer before storming”]

Mom: I kinda get a complex on seeing her you know. She is fair and beautiful. I feel a bit delicate to stand beside her while posing for photo [followed by a roaring laugh]

Me: Yeah she is. But you are young.

Mom: Huh…young??? Though she’s older than me in age, she looks far younger than me.

Me: Appearance isn’t all that matters mom. You are beautiful at heart.

Mom: She may be beautiful at heart too. You know she seems very active and looks like she bears many responsibilities and manages everything.

[Okay. Good that she’s pulling herself away from appearances. Appearance has never been my comfort zone.]

Me: Its okay mom, you are being submissive to dad and you let the head of the family do everything. You are a great wife right?

Mom: uhum. I was never given an opportunity to head anything other than manning the house-hold.

Me: You are a brave lady mom and you have the caliber to do anything.

[got a “pchhh” as a response from the other side. As the daughter-ism with the goal of boosting mom’s morale increased in me:]

Me: You are very good in planning mom. In your generation itself you had planned your family well and have given birth to only one kid.

Mom: That’s why am left with no support in my old age. You’ll get married and go away. Your to-be-mom-in-law has a daughter within reach and a son who will be with her till the end as a strong support.

Me: Mom. Brush that aside. See how you have shaped me up as a brave girl. You have taught me the ability to manage things solely.

Mom: Bravery and you? Your to-be-sis-in-law rides 2-wheeler. Do you know cycling atleast?

[Oops!!! Have I dug a pit under my foot myself? Me trying to pull some more subjects for my defence: ]

Me: Am petite and look young. And am healthy too mom. Being a lady you should be happy for having given birth to such a daughter J

Mom: Only you have to praise yourself and your physique. Your to-be-sis-in-law has a kinda richness in her face. She looks hale. Look at you. You seem gravely struck by poverty. People ask me if I have fed you.

[you decided not to spare me, dontcha? Me still having not reached the threshold of giving up:]

Me: It’s you who instilled in me the importance of education, as a result of which, I am a career aspirant now. I get more laurels at work. Aint you proud of me?

Mom: Don’t tell me that being a girl. Have you ever entered the kitchen when you were here? Today you tell me you prepare so many and are becoming a great cook. You have been atrocious here that am not ready to believe in what you say now. I know you are a girl who sheds tears when it comes to household. I have molded u bad. I bet your mom-in-law would have taught her daughter everything.

[Damage again. Mom was going on and on. My conscience popped up and asked me “is that enough Anu? Dare you speak anything more,…..I realize am losing]

Me: You have brought me up with the traits of a guy and a girl mom. Not everyone will be such a blend.

Mom: That is all am saying. You are more boyish is what my stand is. You proudly say to me that you got a ghagra for your engagement. Your sis-in-law had come in a saree for the occasion. You happily pose for your engagement with a brush-like-cannot-be-tied-hair. She had plaited her hair tidily and had come. When I ask you not to cut your hair before marriage, you ask me “cant I get married like this without tying it up” How dare you!!! Your mom-in-law had taught her daughter decorum. I failed.

[I am tired now. While I was trying to heave up the dignity of my mom, mine was somersaulting towards downhill.]

Me: Okay mom. I give up. Am not all that great, and we are not that great when compared to my in-laws. Happy?

Mom: [uttering a laughter] Just wanted to see till what extent you defend yourself and your parents. This is just the most dwarfish of conversations. There will be in store in the long run after marriage, many situations, wherein you’ll be kindled unnecessarily and forced to stand up to your new relatives defending you and your parents. None can be an exception to all such in a family, no matter how much amiable you are with others. At such instances, try not to drag the matter creating displeasure to the other person. That doesn’t mean you should leave our esteem lay behind as such. Say a word or two graciously and by remaining calm after that, you tell others what sort of girl you are and in turn what your parents are. That’s how I want you to keep our esteem high, not by being bitchy. Moreover, your priorities for your new family should precede those for us. Try not to give them a feel that you came as an alien into the family in the middle of their lives. I know my daughter is cerebral and can handle things well and win admiration.

Me: Are you still dubious if you are the best, mom?

I was waiting for the bus to get to my home from a shopping mall. There came the bus and after boarding it, I noticed the bus filled with adolescents probably of age 13. May be the bus came from a place populated with schools and it was off-school time in the evening. I didn’t have a seat to sit and my back pack was straining my shoulders. The bus was filled with pandemonium and I heard here and there “I am czhazy over that cazh (the slang of replacing “r” with “zh” sound :) ), you know its jus awesome”, “can you take your fxxking hands off my shoulders”, “Oh my Gaud, that class reelly reelly sucked” (you would have known its “oh my god, that class really really sucked”), etc. I have the habit of observing the people around me and those kids were really a feast. There was a gang sitting in front of me and I started watching what they do.

Everyone was in hunky-funky dresses, a girl wearing her spaghetti over her long sleeved tshirt and a guy wearing his jean not on his waist but almost on his knees. He had tried hard to make it stick to his thighs with a belt. I pity that belt. In that age, I knew no dress other than my uniform and got reminded of those days wherein I was not allowed to attend the prayer just because my socks wasn’t tidy.

A kid picked up a make-up kit from her bag and started patching up her eye shadows and lipstick. I was getting reminded of the days when I was in the 8th grade and I wasn’t even knowing there was something called a fairness cream existing. Whatever mom did to me was the so-called make-up for me. Never really bothered if my tie knot was proper or my shoe was properly buckled or the powder was overdone on face or the flower on my head was looking odd like a headlight.

A kid was making hip-hop moves as she was listening to some song over her mobile. I wasn’t even having a landline phone at home when I was a kid. Why that? I remember the cable tv connection being given when I entered college. Another kid was doing something with his PDA. I remember writing the class periods in a timetable sheet and sticking it at my home.

I saw a girl asking a guy “can you take your hands off my shoulders?” The guy asked “Why?”. The girl replied “coz you are a gay and I hate you”. My jaw dropped on hearing this. They speak about homosexuals. Did I even know at that age that the opposite sexes attract each other?

The bus halted at a stop and a lady got in. She came and stood beside me. She was wearing a thick spectacle and a teeth clip. The girls in front of us started passing comments and were chortling within themselves. Though the comments were private, it was very evident from their gestures that they were about this lady. I never dared to comment on anyone and had always thought twice before lampooning the best of the best friends even.

One was sloppily throwing the books here and there. I was thinking “may be he is too ingenious that he completed studying it and its no more required”. How much importance have we given to our books? If anyone makes a dog-ear in my book, he/she is gone.

I sensed something repeatedly hitting my legs from behind (I was standing with the support of a pole) and turned back to see what it was. There was a guy sitting in the seat behind me and was swinging his legs back and forth, hitting me every time. I expected him to say sorry when I looked at him but I got just a nonchalant expression in return. Giving him a cold stare, I moved aside. I would have sought pardon thousand times had I been in that position as a kid.

I don’t mean to say the people in our generation were all subservient and they were stainless. We had also been relentless when we were kids but I feel we always had a sense of reverence and fear in whatever we did.

I might get a comment “you are a fruit, may be you should learn taking these light”. or I might get a comment “you are no miss.perfect, to speak about these”. I don’t mind as I wasn’t that bad a fruit or that bad a rogue.

I admit that the kids of today are far matured and they know a lot at early ages, they are given a lot of exposure, which is apparent. But the kids of today being lackadaisical about their demeanor cannot be left tacit.

Whatever it is, I got reminded of my childhood and adolescence on seeing them and I wish there was a way to go back to those times. There had been days where I was happy on hearing the age of heroines, being proud that I was younger than them. Now, the thought that all the new faces are at least a year younger than me really sucks. Sounds silly eh. Am a girl after all.

My rants were distracted by the talk of the bus driver. He and a passenger were talking to each other. When I started listening to them, I was smiling to myself as they were speaking about the kids too. The driver was expressing his concern that the kids of today hold no respect for elders, for studies, etc.

Now comes the interesting part (of course for me).

My involvement was hindered by a joggle of the bus and it was my stop. When I said a thank you to the driver while getting off, he said “you are welcome. Study well kid. You gotta get a nice job alright. Pay respect to everyone”. I was really happy on hearing this and told him “thanks a lot, but I would like to tell you that I am not studying but working in a reputed concern”. He said “you gotta be kidding”. I said “I wish I really was kidding” and started walking towards my home with a cheerful thought that I look young.

On my way home, I got reminded of one more instance which happened 6 months back.
I was in Aliso Viejo and I was walking towards my office. On my way was a school zone and there was a volunteer directing the traffic of kids and the cars in a T-intersection as it was peak hour. I was walking at a greater pace as I was late and wanted to cross the intersection. I guess I gave the impression to the volunteer that I wouldn’t wait for her direction. On seeing me approaching the intersection, she said “wait wait, cars first, kids next”. Hurrah!!!!!! You should have seen my face then. I was trying to keep it as innocuous as a kid to stand up to her words. ROFL.

I wish my mom doesn’t read this. If she does, then the 2 apples, badams, cashews, date fruits (what not) which she says she would give me daily when I go there, would become 10 each. :(

Woops!!!!

One of the most important days in my life just passed by. It was my engagement. The engagement was to take place at Chennai. My marriage is the most awaited as am the only girl child for entire family and as it’s the first marriage in the immediate generation after my dad’s that’s gonna happen. My dad wanted to ask me before doing anything (I am the only child for my parents) but I wasn’t within his reach. The mode of information transfer between us had been gtalk, that too during weekends [kudos daddy…there are only a hand full of fathers who have explored chatting, browsing and orkutting and am proud you are one such]. I gotta tell you all an instance [I don’t mind deviating for telling something about my role model] that happened a few months back. Dad wanted to send some photos to me and he was asking me the best way to do it. I just told him he can upload them in picasa and went to see the dish that was cooking. When I went back to chat after 5 mins, and told my dad that I’ll direct him how to upload the photos, he coolly said “check your mail. I have sent the album link”. I got apoplexic when he said “I have put the album under unlisted and have shared the link. You can download the album. I don’t wanna go public”. I wasn’t able to say anything other than “Dad!! You drive me crazy”.

Ok back now.

Me and my fiancé are in USA and we were not in a position to go for our engagement. When I told this to my friends, some said “What? That is weird!”, some other said “You gotta be kidding”, “Is it a love marriage?” and the guy who tried to woo me asked “Are you trying to play some prank or something?”. I was tired telling “people!!! Its an arranged marriage, we are not able to make it to the engagement and that’s all about it”. They really instilled a feel in me “is the engagement without both the bride and the groom that weird?”.

Sunday 3PM was the engagement in India, which was Saturday 1.30AM midnight for me. On Sunday morning, parents and all my other relatives were getting ready to go to the venue. I gave them a call to know what was happening. Mom said she wanted to see me before the engagement and asked me to show myself up in the webcam. So did I [did I tell you this was the first time they are seeing me live in a cam?]. They also had a cam. The moment my dad saw me in the cam, he said “you are not Anu. Go call my daughter”. He claimed I have changed a lot and it was hard for him to relate the webcam face to that of his daughter’s when she left India. Somewhere in the corner of my heart a murky pain struck me – Has my dad forgotten my face? Well, he cannot be blamed, I had/do shown/show a huge metamorphosis in my appearance. It’s close to a year since he saw me and it’s enough time for metamorphosis.

My mom on seeing me shed tears and was showering an array of flying kisses - typical of a mother. Everybody was showing all the things they are gonna display and they were telling it’s gonna be really a grandeur. Oh, how much I missed the occasion!!!! I very much wanted to see what my dad had done for my engagement.

I was very restless here, it was midnight for me. I very much wanted to be there in the venue, to see the rituals. The bride and the groom’s parents would be the center of attraction for this ceremony and I wanted to see how my parents presented themselves.
I gave my aunt a call at 2AM my time, thinking that atleast the hymns would fall in my ears. My aunt picked my call up and said “Hi Anu. Your engagement is going on very well. We are right now very busy. Can you call us after half-an-hour?” I was yelling “Come on guys!!!! It’s my engagement, it’s the bride who is calling up. You are asking me to call later? That’s overmuch”. No response from the other end. My aunt had hung up long before. I was blaming my fate.

It was 2.30AM for me and was lying sleepless on my bed, pretty sure of my fiancé being half-way through a snoring sleep in his home by then. Then I called up my uncle and thankfully, he said I shall be on line listening to the hymns they chant and he was also giving a running commentary about what was happening.

After the engagement, everybody out there was jostling to speak with me and I had to give a word or two to everyone. Uff..finally I gained attention. Everybody said the function went on great. Dad and mom gave the usual cries expressing their agony that everybody was there except the two of us. Mom was describing about the saree my to-be-in-laws have bought for me – typical of a woman. Dad said they have written over the sugar crystals, my fiance's name with gems chocolate and my name with jeera mithai as analogous to our body weights :) He was also telling they have proved that they are from Erode by displaying the mysore paks in a huge silver thookku, like how an authentic Erode community would do. I dunno what all humors my dad let out. I missed them.

I felt very nostalgic when I heard the chitchats of people. I was just able to hear the festive mood but I wasn’t able to feel it. My dad fuelled my pain by telling “you will be Miss. Muralitharan no more, my child”. It was too much for me to swallow and my eyes swelled up. Threatening my lachrymal glands that they should spare enough tears for the marriage, I hung up.

There was a party here in USA thrown by his relatives to celebrate our engagement and it was a bit consoling. But needless to say that it’s no compensation to being with all the people from both the sides swarming around you. My engagement was just virtual to me. I hope I would have fun on my marriage.

Many of my friends on seeing the title of the post would think "What does the word cook has to do in Anu's blog?" I remember my ex-teammate saying once "I doubt if she knows to boil water". I have never even peeped into the kitchen before I came to the US and I wore an astounded look when my roomie here told me that toor dhal and channa dhal are different. My knowledge in cooking was literally that void. Luckily, all my roomies during my first 6 months here were great cooks and the responsibility of cooking wasn't shouldered by me. I wasn't hitherto paying a damn about cooking. Cooking posed itself as a real scalawag when I happened to move into an apartment 2 months back with another girl who too was sailing on the same boat as mine, being a novice in cooking. Google was the Deity for us, providing the recipes of dishes. We can cook without oil, not without google. :)

We try out different dishes. The feel that we are starters in cooking doesn't intimidate us and confine us to make simpler dishes. There had not been a single day wherein the dishes were made without the patching up here and there. But I tell you everything turns out really well eventually and there had not been even a ruined one. I often get reminded of the days wherein I found umpteen faults in whatever my mom made. She used to curse me telling I'll know when I start cooking. Now on hearing my adventurous, yet successful cooking, she feels very happy and says it's a comeuppance.

You would be highly entertained when you see us cooking I promise. The things that petrify us the most are the curry leaves and ginger paste when added to heated oil. I would stand a yard away from the pan, throw the curry leaves and ginger paste into it and run to the other end of the kitchen to see them spurt oil all over. And we are too artistic in making rotis. We bring the shapes of all the continents in the world so perfectly in our rotis you know!!! Once we get the feel that the dish is cooked, we take a pinch of it to assess the salt and spice level and try fixing the faults [you should see us exchanging ominous looks before tasting]. We keep repeating this till we arrive at the taste we want. It's embarrassing to tell you that if you sum up the pinches we consume to assess the taste, it would be more than a person's actual intake of it. Oops!!!

For this new year, we made aaloo bonda and gulab jamun [by telling aaloo, I get reminded of you Sachi. The days when you used to share my aaloo fry are still green. You better miss them :)]. Aaloo bonda was awesome and so were the jamuns, softie-soft. But the sweet syrup got hardened time and then, how much ever we microwaved it. We will blame it on the weather. Here's the photo of jamuns to your envy [The aaloo bondas were so nice to be spared for a click]. Aint they mouth watering?


The first dish which we made was vaangi bath (rice bath with brinjals) and we have tried almost all the dishes ranging from simple rasam to malai kofta and cutlet. We are having great fun. To those who made fun about me – your desires to comment on me are ramshackled. I should admit I haven't gained confidence to cook solitarily. Want the dish to be great? – I want Nitisha beside me. I actually would be seething if someone pries in when I cook, directing me to do things. As this sweet lady is also a starter in cooking, she never does that. Nitisha: you are a great companion. Thanks a lot!

Am sure I’ll become a good cook. Beware Nala - Nalabaagam might get replaced with Anubaagam!!!!
Okay guys, I know that was too much!!!