Aham Vyaktam

I spoke with my best friend after a really long time. I have got many emails from that friend asking me to give a call when my time permits, but it took this unchivalrous stupid a year to actually do it. I spoke for about an hour. Thanks to my manager for having given me a permission to work from home :-) I wouldn’t have called even now, had I not known that the friend is leaving for Riyadh.

That friend had been with me since I was 13, I guess. We are friends for more than a decade now. When we spoke yesterday, we realized the friendship hasn’t gone down by even an ounce and we still stay at that reverent position in each other’s hearts. All our sentences started with “Remember when….” How nice it was to talk about our remarkable past!

We were laughing to the core when we talked about the very serious fights we had, it sounded so pointless now. I was the one who always initiated a fight (as its always the case with anybody for that matter, but trust me, am not very bad, just a little short-tempered and egoistic) and if I now come to think of it, my friend had been so patient with me, would never utter a word other than sorry, though I had been scornful, vicious and obstinate. I genuinely sought for pardon yesterday. I don’t think anyone can tolerate me like that other than that friend and I still remember my mom scolding that friend that am being spoilt by giving too much of attention and liberty which I am taking advantage of. My friend’s mom and my mom are so proud of our friendship which is still lasting, though we are so distant.

My friend also happened to be my junior in my college and I used to threaten that I would send some guys from my class for ragging :-)
I still remember those days when my friend had been so possessive and refused to give even my emailid to my other juniors LOL. That was funny!!!
Both of us used to watch our favorite movie telecast on a festival day, absolutely immune to all the festivities around. We wouldn’t even care about the bang of the crackers outside :-)
I used to cheat when we played Hollywood but never did a word come from my friend. I always won.

Hari says my parents and such friends have spoilt me, having given me too much attention that its hard for him to meet the same expectations of mine :-)

I miss those days. I wish there’s a way to travel back to those days whenever needed. But then am glad I don’t have a feeling that I missed a chance of having fun in those days. We enjoyed as much as we could when we got a chance to get together.

I know you are reading this my friend!
And I know you have a feeling that I haven’t been much expressive of my friendship all along!
Read this and rest assured that I have always missed you and I always will!

A.R Rahman. I was just staring at the screen for a while after writing his name for want of words. I was praying that ARR should win atleast 1 oscar, if not both. I was clasping the hands and biting my nails when they were about to announce who the oscar for original score goes to. When ARR’s name was announced, I was applauding, screaming and jumping. That was some moment. I was glad they got his name right unlike the Golden Globe. When he said about him having the same excited and terrified feeling he had during his wedding, I was surprised “Was it Rahman who just humored?” When he said “ella pugazhum iraivanukke”, the joy just multiplied. That’s something none would have expected in his Oscar acceptance speech.

I was so glad to see him performing on the Oscar stage and the fusion of Jai Ho with Wall-E was some magic. Did you guys look at the way he did his finishing pose of the performance? Every bit of him was awesome on the day.

I was scared when Hari said he might loose the Oscar for the song category due to split votes between O Saya and Jai Ho. But then he did it once again!! He deserves every bit of the awards. I cant stop watching this video.

Rusel Pookutty is another pride of India. The entire SDM crew is a marvel. I cant believe the kids can speak so well. They rocked on the red carpet.

Am not going to listen to any song other than Rahman’s for the next 1 week. He is decorating my laptop as the wallpaper. He is great in his Indian black dress. I hope Hari doesn’t mind, himself being a die hard fan of Rahman :)

For all those who raised controversies about the movie and for all those who threw mud at Rahman for accepting the offer to direct music for the movie:

Rahman is bringing home the Oscars guys!

Suck it up!!!

It feels good when “someone” makes a bread sandwich for your breakfast, places it in your bag concernedly with a paper towel in case you intend to have it while commuting, and does it by the time you put your shoes on before leaving to work, especially when you have decided to skip your breakfast as you are running very late.

It feels good when “someone” had done the dishes and the sparkling sink welcomes you when you get back home in the evening, especially when you had left a huge pile of dishes in the morning.

It feels good when “someone” unexpectedly calls you and says we’ll go for a movie and have dinner outside, especially when you are in no mood to do anything but still for the sake of it, will cook and do other house-hold since you are not of the type who says “lets have dinner out”.

It feels good when “someone” prepares something with little known, and wakes you up to make you have dinner, especially when you are dozed off after a shot (not the shot as in tequila shot but the one as in flu shot) and a tablet when you are ill.

It feels good when “someone” had surprisingly placed a bouquet of flowers before you when you wake up the next morning with a note “I don’t know what the reason is, sorry if I am”, especially when you had been low for some reason unknown.

It feels good when “someone” says you are a good cook and you’ll get better every time you cook, especially when you serve a dish with too much of salt in it.

It feels good when “someone” just politely says “this is not the girl I know of”, which is good enough to shut you up, especially when you let your temper far out of control.

It feels good when “someone” pats on your head and says “you are just a kid”, especially when you feel so stupid after committing a foolish blunder.

It feels good when “someone” reminds you are able by saying “I’ll suggest, but you have to decide”, especially when you want someone to decide for you, though it is so out of your character, you being a person who doesn’t want others to decide for you.

It feels good when “someone” is so supportive to say its okay to cancel a $1000 trip, especially when you are biting your nail, trying to complete your work hastily before you leave for the trip.

These look like excerpts from some chick-flick. But when these happen in real life, the bliss is just exponential to the mushy feeling you have when you see these in a chick-flick. And, you are able to cache and appreciate these only when they happen seldom. Else, the charm of these would have been long gone.

I saw everybody writing about their best of 2008. So I thought I would also join the whirlpool.

Best of 2008:

1. I became a full time employee of a reputed concern. One year of grueling contractorship got over and I am glad I wasn’t at the mercy of anybody to have me converted, it was rather a demand from my side.

2. I got car driving license. This might seem too preposterous to mention under this post title, but it was a great achievement for me. I flunked twice and got it right the third time. I have never had a sense for even riding a bicycle, let alone a car. I was great at the rules and scored 34 on 36 in the driving written test but pathetically flunked in the wheel test. Finally I got it. My wish is to drive a beetle, if not, atleast some VolksWagen. I haven’t got any yet. Let me see if I am able to put my beetle or VW as one of my best of 2009.

3. I met my family after a separation of more than a year and a half, reminding them of my almost forgotten face, letting them gasp “is that really her?” I had changed a lot during this span of being away from family and I was pleased to see that everybody welcomed my physical and mental change.

4. My wedding. I met a man who was everything I wanted my partner to be and I am lucky enough to marry him. The welcome rendered by the new family was overwhelming, as I had already become friendly with most of them, or as my friends would grossly lay it out, I had already put maska on everyone. More than anything, my dad got relieved off the biggest duty or rather a burden as the conformist in me conceives it.

5. My birthday gift. It was my portrait Hari had painted. I knew he was a painter but never knew he could paint so well. He used to go to sleep at 5 in the morning, saying he had loads of work, which was surprising for me as I had always known him as a smart-worker, not a hard one. When he gifted my portrait, I understood the meaning of all those sleepless nights.

6. I met Anand after more than 2 years. He had been “the” best friend in my life (and still is) or well-wisher as he says. It was great to see him here, actually to see his few months old kid more than him. Its always a blissful feeling to see your best friend after a really long time, especially when he surprises you showing up with his own child. And I met Shen, kullu and Sachi after a long time on my wedding.

7. I made a great improvement in cooking. While I was back in India, I didn’t even know what sauté meant (not literally but practically). While I was into this shared accommodation stuff here in US, I did start cooking, but there was always my roomie beside me to share the task and never knew if I could cook alone. But after wedding, cooking was/is being completely manned by me (needless to mention Hari is a lousy cook) and I was surprised to see I was able to cook well. We celebrated all festivals after wedding with vada, rava laddoo, jamun and payasam and stuff (I can never match up to our parents, but these dishes were decent) and got appreciation from my in-laws for observing all festivals without an elder’s help.

8. My dad sought voluntary retirement. He has worked really hard since he was 18 and I felt its time he bids a bye to work and rest at home. He is an enthusiast and cant sit at home. So he’s writing and composing songs right now (as he always used to when he found time) big time to keep him engaged (and this is just for his fun, not for commercial interests) and he’s into browsing and stuff. Good for him!!

9. Hari took a huge leap in his career, and became a manager skipping one level in the middle. It was like a double promotion and this happened immediately after our engagement. And everybody in my in-laws’ side said that am a very lucky girl. So sad that they forgot about Hari’s eminency :)

10. My physical examination results came out alright. I never underwent a checkup after coming to US. I normally keep watching my health as I am underweight. Not that any previous results came out with complications, but just have been playing safe. So any checkup is very important for an underweight gal like me and this thorough phy exam after 2 years pronounced me hale and healthy. And no doctor ever says that am underweight, I don’t know why and in a way am happy for it :)

Now I’ll go for the worst of 2008.

1. Fell ill on my wedding and I was ill throughout the span I was in India.

2. Sachi, who is one of my best friends met with a terrible accident and had surgery.

3. The economy depression, of course made us precarious as everybody else, though no major impact has happened yet.

4. I came to know that Hari doesnt have a good taste for chick flicks. Of course, chick flicks are for female audience and I cant expect him to like them, but then it would have been great if he can watch them, as I watch any crappy movie, no matter its boyish or girlish or kiddish.

5. I exhausted all my Personal-Time-Offs in my wedding and am running on negative now.

6. I wanted to go to Hawaii or Maldives in 2008 but neither happened.

These are all the worst things I can come up with and its good that I have my best outnumbering the worst.

As to the New Year resolution, I thought of vowing that I wouldn’t browse at work. But as we internet geeks would die if we relinquish browsing even for a minute, I knew this resolution would end up with an ill fate as its ancestors. So thought I wouldn’t take any resolution at all.

On the whole, 2008 had been a really great year for me, a memorable one indeed. If I have to retrospect in few years down the lane, 2008 would definitely be the top in the list, as I had some major happenings in my life.

Las Vegas - grandeur is its name. Our flight was about to alight in Vegas by 11pm Friday. There came a beautiful city into our sight below us. I was trying to catch the glimpse of the city, hopping in my seat though I was leashed by the seatbelt. The city was swimming in lights of different colors and the lights were so orderly in a pattern when I saw from above. I forgave the window seat to Hari as he said he wanted to take pics of Vegas from above but he wasn’t able to do a decent job due to shakes caused by flight turbulence. He had already been to Vegas and I was a Vegas Virgin, he should have at least let me enjoy the view. Scolding him for being so huge hindering the window and for having wasted his window-seat chance not managing to take pics without shakes, we were out from the airport and picked up our rental car. After a few miles drive, the Las Vegas Strip invited us. Mandalay Bay was the first one standing there and my mouth was wide-open and didn’t close at all till the end of the strip. What a splendor, what a luxury! It was definitely a feast for the eyes. I kept wowing for every casino I saw.

Hari had managed to get a good deal for a stay at what they call the best hotel, of course 5-star, in Las Vegas, THE BELLAGIO. It was 12 when we checked in to the hotel and I was quite intimidated by the well-dressed crowd in the casino. I wasn’t dressed for Bellagio, in fact, for Las Vegas at all as I was working till the last minute and started off from home in a hurry.

Our room was a marvel. We had switches to open and close the drapes in the windows. The restroom was so sparkling and modern and one can even dine there LOL. We didn’t manage to get a room with fountain view as we did a late check-in. We had a pool view, which wasn’t bad. I was in no mood to sleep but had to, as I was really tired coz of the day’s work.

We got up at 11 the next morning - Saturday. Yeah, Vegas isn’t about morning anyways, so what big deal in getting up at 11? We thought we would do a late night out. I got dressed up for Vegas (I didn’t wanna be a misfit) and we went out at 12.30 and thought we would gamble a little in Bellagio casino. We were just the silent spectators, sighing deeply at people who were easily playing the Black Jack and madly winning. As both of are pathetic in that area, we decided not to try anything other than the slot machine. We both gambled together and we lost, gained and we lost again. Hari always preferred the 5 cents or 25 cents slot machine, which was so boring and so I got a $10 note from him and went to gamble alone in a $1 slot machine. I turned the $10 into $20 and gave it to Hari, lifting my collar. Next time when I played Hari was there beside me and I lost everything. Boy, there’s some ill-luck about you that makes me loose when you are there :)

Then we started off. We decided that we would go for David Copperfield show on Sunday and went to MGM Grand to get the tickets. MGM had been my favorite from the view I had from the flight as it had all green lights, green being my favorite color. The interiors were fabulous. After a stroll in the MGM, we headed off to Luxor and Mandalay Bay. The parking was a nightmare everywhere. We were surprised as we had hard time finding a slot though the parking lot in every casino was so huge. The Luxor was huge with the replica of the great Egyptian pyramid, with an incomparable sky beam on its top. The interiors of Luxor were so modern and very different. If one looks up attempting to see the ceiling, his eyes will hit a triangle with staircase-like body. The stair-like form which you see from the bottom are all the corridors of the rooms in the Luxor hotel and we were so thrilled to imagine how it would be to take a look at the bottom from there. It was a lovely piece of architecture.

My primary intent of visiting Vegas was to see the interiors and the architecture of every casino/hotel and it was well served. I have always had an affinity towards Engineering Drawing during good-old college days and these casinos were making me feel bad for having not chosen a career in architecture.

Then we marched towards Mandalay Bay crossing a vast extent of shopping arena. The shops were ostentatiously standing there, tempting anybody who passed by. Hari should thank me for having not done a crazy shopping, I didn’t buy anything from Las Vegas in fact. There was one “Minus 5 Lounge” in Mandalay Bay. It was a room which was completely icy. The walls were made of ice, the sculptures were of ice, the sofas and chairs were ice, and even the cups they served drinks and juices in, were also ice. I was getting reminded of the ice palace in Die Another Day. We came out with a nice complimentary Eskimo cap. There were pretty girls outside the lounge, half-dressed in just a corset and a micro-mini skirt, to lure people into the lounge. We saw two guys taking pictures with those girls and guess who clicked them? Their wives with come-home-I’ll-get-you-drooler look on their faces.

We went to NewYork NewYork and found it to be a little quaint, not that great an edifice as the MGM and the others. We took a train back to the Luxor where we had parked our car. There were a bunch of guys in our compartment and they were trying to establish a friendly conversation with us. A guy amongst them was asking about the Eskimo cap I was wearing and said its not worth giving 30 bucks just for a complimentary vodka. I said we don’t drink but still I found the ice lounge worthy. Hari whispered “he’ll hug you when you leave. Just deny. The bloke is drunk”. I said “whatttttt” with a terrified look and tightened my grip on Hari. I managed to come out safe :)

Then we went to Fremont Street Experience. I had no clue what it was. Hari said the Fremont street was all about lights. It was awfully cold and windy and I was shaking terribly during our walk in Fremont street. The bright lights were dashing against my face. There was a street orchestra singing songs from 70’s and we could see couples dancing openly in the street. It was fun.

Then we went back to Bellagio to see the most renowned fountain show. The fountain was dancing to the rhythm of a song played and whenever the song reaches a high pitch, the fountain shot to a great height, almost till the top of the casino. It was wonderful. We had no energy left and so went to bed.

The next day we got up late as usual and by noon, we took a stroll inside Bellagio. We had a fruit tart in a cafe there and it was so good. I still have the taste in my tongue when I think of it. Then we went to Bellagio buffet for lunch. Buffet at a five-star hotel is a must-go as they say and we would have been in the queue for an hour. When we went inside, I was amazed to see so many items for desserts. A person who eats non-veg, especially sea-food would have a bonanza time over there. I, pretty much confined to Indian cuisine only, found it really hard to eat anything that was out there. I had taken a fried rice and saw something brown in it. I asked hari what it was and he said it should be some vegetable. I was so hesitant to eat it and so hari grabbed a spoon and had that thing and declared its chicken. That’s it. I almost threw up. Thankfully I hadn’t eaten it. I had only little Singapore noodles and switched to dessert. I took too many items and didn’t even manage to have half of them. I am definitely not a buffet person.

Then we went to Venetian. This was one casino I loved the most. They had artificial sky inside the casino and gondola rides, trying to keep it a replica of Venice. The ambience was so good and we could see some guys marching around the casino singing Venetian songs. I was in no mood to leave Venetian. It was certainly kindling my long term desire to visit Europe. Then we went to Madam Tussauds wax museum and I took pictures with all of the wax models, particularly envying and cursing Angelina Jolie’s wax model which was placed beside Brad Pitt’s. I was telling Hari “try to exclude her from the frame of me and Brad” :)

Then we went to Paris casino. IT was wonderful too giving the look and feel of France for us. We went to the observation deck of Paris which was at the top of 72 stories if I remember it right. It was piercing cold up there and the strip view was just beyond expression. We managed to catch 2 of the Bellagio fountain shows and I would have died for one view of the fountain from that height.

When we came out, it was almost time for our David Copperfield show and headed towards MGM. He was so amazing and the show was nothing like the ones I have seen before. He picked people from audience for making them disappear off the stage and Hari was almost making me stand on my toes with hands hovering high for me to be picked so that he can get rid of me for few minutes :) I would have been more than willing to be a participant too but I wasn’t picked. It was so good a show having the people disappear from the stage and reappear at the back of the theatre. We had managed to befriend a girl who was sitting beside us and was chosen as a candidate for the disappearing show. We enquired her what happened or how she felt. But she denied any info as all the participants had sworn to David that they would utter no word. What’s fun in magic if you know how its done?

We went back to Bellagio and I very much wanted to go to the night club at Bellagio itself for which we were holding complimentary tix. But I had no energy to change to my cocktail dress and we decided we would drop it off. That was a day!

The next morning we started at 5.30 from Bellagio and reached the airport by 6.30 only to discover that our flight at 7.30 AM had been cancelled. We had to wait for 12 hours in the airport not knowing how to kill the time. We had to bunk the office. Thank God, I had my Ayn Rand with me. We then decided that we should be in no laziness to pack our laptops during any journey. Finally we managed to get a flight back to SFO at 7.50PM. Hari gave me the window seat this time so that I could have the aerial view of Vegas. Good for him, he escaped my punches. He had promised me to take me in helicopter when I fought with him for not giving me the window seat on our onward journey, but he didn’t do so. This flight delay thingy was in a way good as I had the window seat and got the splendid view of Vegas.

Just then a guy beside Hari said a hello to us (ours was a 3 member seat). He didn’t look like an American as his slang wasn’t as pure as Americans. He sounded a bit like someone from Middle East. He was getting acquainted beyond anyone’s level of expectation and I started growing suspicious. I know its gonna be silly if I say I thought he was from an enemy country of India but that’s how I felt. He was speaking about his interests in travel, about economy and stuff. Hari turned to me and said “can you pls keep talking to me so that he doesn’t get me? God, this is the last thing I would want after a 14-hour wait at the airport”. I didn’t dare to look at that guy since whenever I looked at him, he started addressing me too. Suddenly during his conversation with Hari he said “mushkil nahin” and I was looking at him as if I confirmed him to be a terrorist. I nudged Hari “how the hell does he know Hindi?” Hari said “How the hell would I know?” I was looking at him dreaded and couldn’t refrain from asking him “Which country do you actually belong to?” He said he was from USA, Hawaii if am correct. He started speaking about his visit to India, that he went to Missouri, Simla, Agra and how he liked Taj Mahal and other historic places. It would have seemed to be a general conversation, had he seemed normal to me but now I felt “god, why is he speaking about monuments?” Hari placed his blackberry on the food tray and was looking through the window. I saw that guy taking out a beer tin and I had a weird feeling that he was looking at Hari’s blackberry. I didn’t want to say it to Hari as I thought he might feel am foolish. So I didn’t take my eyes off the blackberry as I felt that guy would take it when we are a lil loose and use it to send some message to someone in his gang and make us the victims of whatever plan he had. Then he asked Hari what are all the places worth visiting in India. When Hari was telling about Kerala, the guy asked him to write it down on a paper and I was worried as I thought he would do something with that handwriting. I know this is the height of paranoia. Finally we reached SFO and I was glad to get rid of that guy. He just turned out to be a passenger who was abnormally seeking a speech companion, nothing like what I thought. I was telling to myself “I should prolly stop watching CSI”.

That was Las Vegas for me. I like traveling and here I am awaiting eagerly my next trip to wherever Hari would take me. The day after our departure from Vegas, we heard that it was affected by snow storm. We were glad we were able to catch the last flight from Vegas to SFO the previous day!

I am done with Harry Potter series finally. I never had any inclination to read the books thinking that its for kids, until I saw Hari who abstained himself from the world around him since he wanted to read the final book of Harry Potter series without a meager disturbance, when the book came out. He also told me that there were people who completed the 700 odd paged book overnight, coz of the fear that the secrets of the story would fall into their ears from someone who has already read it. It was then I started reading the first one and I swear I was absolutely tied to it. I couldn’t think of reading any book other than Harry Potter and was so much influenced by it that my dreams were filled with it, my words adapted the style of some character or the other in the story, and I admit I started having crushes not only on the characters, but also on those who acted in the movies :) The movie cant even stand a zillion miles away from the book though. When Hari asked me what he could get for my birthday, the immediate response from me was “Harry Potter and the deathly hallows book”. I didn’t know then if I was happy since I would know what happens to whom finally in the long story or if I was disappointed as it was the last book and Harry Potter would be out of my life till the next movie half blood prince comes. However, I would have watched the movies atleast 3 times each and I will keep doing it.

The last chapter of deathly hallows was an ultimate treat. I was enjoying every line, every word of it. And the best conversation I like in the whole series is the one between Harry and Rufus Scrimgeour, the minister of magic in “Harry Potter and the half blood prince” when Harry denies Scrimgeour’s persuasion of him to work for ministry. It’s a heated conversation and I couldn’t believe how Harry had grown to be an adolescent, knowing to speak that much, his words impregnated with bullies. Anyways, it was a nice conversation and god knows how many times I read it.

Hermione had always been close to my heart and of course, Ron. I actually liked Rupert Grint better than Daniel Radcliffe in the movie. I loved Albus Dumbledore to such an extent that I was weeping so badly when he was murdered, and its nothing when compared to that on Snape at the end, whom I had always hated terribly till the last chapters of the last book.

I was hell-bent on not watching the movies before reading the books and I am telling you, I have been wise. The charm of the story will certainly be killed if the movie is watched first.

I actually wanted to write more but then, I started reading my favorite conversation in the series while writing this post, which has forced me to abandon writing. I am setting off to read all my favorites in the story. I am sure many of you would have read it already. But if there’s anyone who hasn’t, trust me, you are missing something really really big in your hobby.

J.K.R is the best. Can’t wait to read “Tales of Beedle the Bard”. I have already preordered the book and waiting for Dec 4th.

Its 2 months since am married. The first month was so busy in India and the 2nd month was busy here making our house a home. Life is undoubtedly a fun, with the guy of your life always by your side, you needn’t wait for the weekend to meet him and you needn’t have a gloomy face which you’ll have when he drops you back at your home after a weekend movie. I, as of now, don’t feel I am loaded with additional responsibilities, especially when it comes to cooking. I, with roommates, used to cook daily, unlike the others here who say they cook only once in 2 or 3 days. I just find no difference in responsibilities, its my husband now with me, instead of a roomie.

Yesterday when I received a very late wish for my wedding, the thoughts about my marriage day came to me and it struck me that I haven’t written about it. So here I am making note of what I remember of my marriage for my future reminiscence.

On Sep 2nd, my preparations for the big day started with the usual bride-ish stuffs like facials and mehndi. I was at maama’s home. I thought of ending the day at 10pm and went to bed then, as I had to get up really early the next day. I would have just closed my eyes when they were peeled by the shriek let out by my athai who had just arrived. My sleep was thrown away by an array of hugs and kisses from her. I had to force myself to sleep at 10.30. Then by 11, I heard some mumblings and woke up to see my dad who had just come back home. He had been frantically busy for more than 2 months and I felt really bad to see him returning home at 11, even the night before the wedding. While everybody was praising the sarees dad had bought for the family, I could see nothing other than the figure of my dad struggling with around atleast 12 huge bags of sarees and dhotis in his hand. I felt so totally helpless. We, for whom the native is Erode, had fixed up the wedding in Chennai due to certain factors and we had no clue as to go where for what. Dad shouldered the entire burden solely, with none to help him with the preparations in an unknown city. I wonder from where in the world he got all the energy to arrange everything on his own. For the first time ever in life, I kept aside the iam-glad-am-single-child thought and I felt I should have had a brother, who at this instance would have been a lot helpful. Anyways.
Everybody was telling they should make less noise and should allow me to sleep but kept bellowing about something or the other. I didn’t know when the noises died away and when I fell asleep.

The next morning I was woken up by the singsong voice of my thaatha who was chanting the mantras for vinayagar chaturthi pooja. The information that I got up flew to my paatti and she told Sri, who was ready to go for bath, that she cannot go next and she also told that all the others are to get ready only after I am done. I started to enjoy all the attention and gave Sri, who was already gnashing her teeth at me, a glorious look and headed to get ready.

Maami wrapped me up in a purple saree and I had to wear all the jewels. After the usual namaskarams, we headed in 3 cars towards the mandapam. Through out the way I was cribbing about the itching the jewels were giving me, yet I didn’t wanna remove them as I wanted to stand out as a bride. Had Hari been there, am sure he would have pulled me in for a debate on topic “why do girls choose beauty/fashion over convenience” LOL.

We reached the mandapam. The saastrigal was there to welcome me, chanting some mantras, putting a garland around my neck and I was asked to go inside the mandap, placing my right foot first. I went inside and sat there for a while, when the garland started contributing heavily to the itch. Amma was telling me that she cant listen to my cribs about saree and jewels and that she’s glad the wedding is for a day and a half unlike the usual Brahmin weddings which go for 3 days[Hari wanted a half-a-day marriage but my family was adamant on 3 days, so the wedding was planned for a day and a half after a bit of haggling between both the sides] . I asked the saastrigal if I can remove the garland. He said “none will recognize you to be the bride if you remove it. You are that tiny”. I was so sick of that comment as everybody who saw me since I landed, ebbed me away with it. When I was wishing that the saastrigal should be the last person whom I have to hear that comment from, maami whispered “a lot more to come baby”. It was true. That would be the first time, many of Hari’s relatives would see me and I knew I cant escape from that comment :(

We were waiting for the groom. It started raining. Everybody entered the panic mode worrying that the rain would cause discomfiture when Hari arrives. Their worries multiplied when someone threw a rumor that its gonna rain heavily for 2 days. I was teasing amma that it rains on my wedding since she has the habit of eating raw rice. :)

I was informed that the groom has arrived and was asked to stand at the entrance to greet him and his family. There he came with his geek glasses on [he had told me he would wear it on our wedding and he certainly did], to the horror of my family, to whom he looked much older than he actually is. Did I mention that was the first time my family met him too? May be, he caught the expression of my family right, he had changed to his normal glasses when the rituals started. I then started receiving compliments from my family that we make a nice pair :) I bade a “hi” to his relatives and needless to say that everybody’s talks were punctuated with the irritating comment of how thin I am.

Viratham started 9-ish. Appa was doing all the stuff and the chanting of the mantras seemed soporific to me, since I had only 4 hours of sleep last night. But then, I wanted my photos to be good and was making myself fresh drinking juices and smiling always so that any click from the photographer captures my smile. Finally by 12, the kankanam was tied in my hands and the saastrigal said “I don’t want to see you roaming around. And remember you are not supposed to step out of the mandapam since you have the kankanam now”. I said “okay, can I remove this garland now?” He said “you are keen on it, do it. And I don’t want you asking me if you can remove this kankanam”. I gave him a seething look for making me win the sniggers from my cousins.

That evening was the nichyadhaartham and reception and I got a few minutes to rest. Everybody was telling that the food was sumptuously awesome. I didn’t get a chance to taste it though, due to viratham. Then I started preparing for the nichyadhaartham. We had to have my hair plaited long, of course with the sowri. My hair wasn’t even fit for the initial plaits. I heard my chithi murmuring something about my hair and I turned back and asked what it was with a I’ll-kill-you look. I had promised them that I’ll not cut my hair after engagement till marriage and I lived up to it, apart from the inconveniences it caused. I wasn’t even allowed to trim my hair. But only so much grew and I could do nothing. So I had told them before the day of marriage that if anyone ever opens their mouth to complain about my hair, they are gone. Chithi knew it very well and so she said she was murmuring some slogam and not about my hair. :) They had to do a ponytail and then attach the sowri to it to everybody’s horror of when it would fall off. The nichyadhaartham was just for an hour and I had to be in the dais for less than 20 mins. Thanks Prasanna, I am glad you were there to fulfill the place of a brother and you looked really cute.

Then I had only an hour and a half to get ready for the reception. The next saree and the next set of jewels. I was very relieved since I was allowed to leave my hair free for the reception. I was led to the dais at 7pm and the stage had been very well decorated. Hari was looking great in his suit but within a blink, he took it off, complaining about the sweat. Everybody started marching towards us with gifts. Least did I attempt to register in mind the unknown people when they were introduced. The crowd was so huge and how in the name of heaven will I remember all the names? Fat chance.

The concert by Ravishankar was just awesome. It was supposed to be a keyboard instrumental, but due to power issues, it changed to be a carnatic music concert. He was really good. We weren’t spared even full 10 mins to listen to him as we had to shake hands with people visiting us. It was so nice to see you sing, appa, on my reception. I always wanted atleast one of your songs staged for my wedding and I thank you, you sang two, one of them being my all time favourite and that too, upon my request.

It was great to see you, Sachi after a really long time but you intimidated me by standing beside me for the photo. Of course, the height difference boy. You gave my guy a chance to make fun of me with that photo, as if he’s 6 ft. LOL

Thanks Aadhi for bringing in your friends. It was nice to pose for a photo sandwiched between handsome young guys, being tired of oldies. A special thanks to you, as you dressed up good upon my request, leaving off your usual skull shirt, revolutionist cargo pants and a weird watch. Sorry bud, I am bullying you, but you know we have a hair-racking relationship and I can very well take that privilege. :)

It was great to see you Shenbagam and Satish, after a really really long time, I guess 4 years. I wasn’t surprised to see you put on weight Kullu, but Shen, I was dumbstruck to see you. Stupid, bloody idiot, you were worse than me, remember. I thought both of us cannot cross 40 kgs no matter what. You beat my theory first, you piece of sweet!

We called it a day at 9PM and I went off stage to receive compliments for my make-up.
The next day was the big day and I could hardly sleep. I was a lil restless. I knew I am marrying a guy whom I had known for more than 8 months and I knew I had developed a good rapport with my in-laws and their relatives. But I had to bump into the typical “Indian girl” in me every now and then, and she pushed me to visit the fidgetiness often. Finally I forced myself to sleep.

I woke up on the big day at 3.30AM in the morning, and once again the usual drama of taking head bath, doing bridal make up, blah blah. I felt I was looking good this day, than the previous, which athai justified that the girl attains a tejas when kanyadhaanam happens. Whatever, I was happy I was looking good in my saree which was of my favorite color green.

They said kasi yaathrai was happening then and asked me to go the mandapam entrance for unjal. After my appa, according to the Vedas, had prevented Hari from setting upon Sanyaasam, promising that he would give me to him, the garland exchange, which is typical and the most funful event in Brahmin marriages happened. Hari was so bulkier and I wonder how he was lifted so high by his mama, cousins and who not, I had to throw the garland to his neck. I wasn’t lifted high at all, myself being so skinny. I jeered at my relatives “I want to be lifted high right now, do you guys understand me?” [I was really wishing that the photographer hadn’t captured this reaction of mine]. Then Ravi and chithappa came out of nowhere pronto, and lifted me so high and Hari had hard time reaching me. Yehhhh!!! A smile of victory from me!

Then, Hari was asked to hold my hands for the first time and we were led to the unjal. We would have spent about 40 mins to an hour in unjal, with everybody giving paal-pazham and singing songs. Then we went to the dais and sat. I was given the madisaar. I had to go dress up in 20 mins.

There came the nightmare, not only for me but for everybody that how would I be wrapped around in a 9-yard saree and how to make it stay on me. Everybody was so confident that i would look terrible in it. Hari’s athai and amma came and started wrapping the saree around. They were done in 10 mins. I turned so reluctantly to look myself in the mirror. Voila!!!! It was so good on me. I really couldn’t believe my eyes. His athai said she didn’t see it fit anybody better than for me. Everybody said I was great. Then they started changing the jewels.

Amma had sneaked in the breakfast but I was in no mood to have it.

“I feel like nauseating whenever I see food amma. I’ll just have lime juice”

“I insist you have this breakfast now”

“I cant am telling you. Am supposed to be fasting till the muhurtham is over”

“Don’t teach me the rules. You can’t survive the ceremony if you don’t eat. It’ll take till 2pm to be over”

I reluctantly agreed to eat and amma gave me idly as jewels were being adorned. I would have had half of it, when everything came out. I started crying, which I usually do when I vomit, and threw a cold look at amma suggesting “I told you I cant”. Amma started scolding me left, right and middle, and the bickering between us was ended by appa whom I happened to see in my room only then, in the 2 days. He reconciled us, asking me to stop crying as its an evil omen and scolding amma that she shouldn’t be this rude to the kid who’s gonna get married.

I didn’t wanna miss the rare few mins I got with my appa in my room.

“How are you appa?”

“Am fine. Why do you ask that? You see me every minute”

“Do you really think so?”

“What happened?”

“You were such a dad, who used to relish your daughter, when she even changes her stud or does a different hairstyle. Its her wedding now. Did you notice what saree am wearing? Did you notice the jewels? Did you notice how pretty I am? I know you are busy but wouldn’t it be nice to see every pinch of your daughter, on the day you have been waiting for, for years since she was born? After 2 days, when you sit back and see my photos, you would ask amma “was she like this?” with a pricking pain. I wouldn’t be there beside you to share it with you.”

Just then, his name was called and he just gave a helpless look at me and a pat on my cheeks and hurried away. I was atleast glad that I managed to tell him I missed him so much.

Then they asked me to come to the dais and I was so excited as I had to sit on my appa’s lap. It was a great feeling. How I had longed to sit on his lap for years! Appa had never really allowed me to sit on his lap since I was what, 15, may be. Today, he had no choice! :)

It was an inexpressible feeling with the man of my life standing in front of me chanting the mantras, ready to take me away from the man who had meant the life for me. I was filled with an avalanche of emotions and managed to take in the word of the saastrigal that we shouldn’t allow anyone to touch us after thaali is tied until saptapati is over. There came the gettimelam, and there I was, Mrs. Iyer.

It took great efforts to safeguard ourselves from swarming people. Once saptapati was over, people were congratulating us and I got so many compliments and dhrishti removals from elders. :) Then the final event was “pori idudhal” during which the wife will be made to stand and do the ritual. But I don’t know if the saastrigal felt I was a kid beside Hari, he made me sit on his lap and do it. Our cheeks were reddening to the core, giving the audience a great reason to launch sheepish glances and comments for.

It was nice to see all the relatives. Thanks for coming Harish. You were my best friend since I was a teen and I thought you skipped my wedding, when you didn’t make it for the reception. But when I saw you on the wedding day, it struck me that you had always said you wanted to see how funny I am in madisaar on my marriage.

The main event was finally over and we went for lunch finally at 2pm. My family knew that am a strict no-no for feeding sweet to each other and posing for photo during lunch and so didn’t even attempt at it. The others kept asking us if we did it and Hari said we have done it to shut them up. Thanks to him, he also doesn’t like it.

I had time for chat with all the relatives after lunch. Then came the nalangu, also called nathanaar-vilaiyadal. I wasn’t at all interested in it, neither did Hari. But everyone else seemed to want it. Okay, jump on the bandwagon!!! We had to do all the stupid things like appalam breaking, thengai sandai, etc, etc. I only benefited a bleeding scratch on my finger from Hari’s nails during the games.

Everybody said that the marriage was grandeur. Thanks maama maami and chithi chithappa, without you guys, I cannot even imagine how the marriage would have happened this grand and peaceful. There are a lots and lots of your efforts and I owe you gratitude. Everybody was praising the food served during the 2 days. Thanks perippa, its you who pointed us to the caterer, he was awesome. Thanks jayama chithi, you helped dressing me up so well, without you I wouldnt have looked that great for sure. Thanks kalyaani athai, you were showering me with compliments, you were enjoying every reaction of mine, which really made me feel so special. Thanks sugu chithappa, I wonder what you do, you just drive away my headache in a jiffy with one touch of yours, its because of you I managed to stand in the reception. Thanks raja chithappa, without your heart-felt hug which spoke a lot during my departure, I wouldn’t have felt complete. Thanks namagiri athai and jaya athai, you guys would have broken knuckles by now, destroying my dhrishti. Thanks Ravi, you were the one who tirelessly supported appa in all the preparations, you were the right hand for him. Thanks Rajesh, you had crocin and juice ready in your hand whenever I yelled for them, and I was so moved to see you beside me after the muhurtham till the end of residual rituals, when everybody else vanished. Thanks Lalli and Sri, you were the manappen thozhis, although you never came and stood by me.

And a big, huge or whatever word is better, thanks to thaatha paatti. Thaatha, I don’t know if anyone other than you, in the age of more than 80, will have spirits and enthusiasm and love like you. You never sat sighing, and you were just spinning doing this and that, while I was half-dead during the second day. Paatti, its becoz of you I didn’t feel bad for the absence of ranga paatti, whose soul am sure would have been there with me every second during my marriage.

And finally, thanks to Hari’s relatives, you guys were so content and never showed the “maappillai aathu midukku”. It was so great of you all to have borne any mistake, if any, that happened unknowingly. One fault from your lips would have collapsed my appa. Thanks for having been very understanding.

It was finally the time to bid good-bye to everyone in my family. I was actually a little strong and didn’t cry in the beginning, as I had been away from my family for more than a year and a half. But then when the time came to board the car, tears came out of nowhere, as a sense of detachment from my family popped in. Everybody from athai to chithappa was crying and I could find my amma and appa.

Then paatti said they were back in the mandapam, shying away from the scene, as they wouldn’t bear seeing me go away. I noticed them standing far away inside the mandapam and asked them to come over. My amma’s eyes were red with tears and appa completely broke off on seeing me, crying hard as never.

After a while, I set off with my new family. The days after till my departure, were just bliss in my in-laws’. My mom-in-law wouldn’t even ask Hari if he needs coffee when he wakes up, a glass of milk would be ready for me when I get up. I am really not wishing for a typical maamiyaar and marumagal, who are always branded to be at loggerheads. I hope I manage to live up to their expectations to get this love and affection ever.