Aham Vyaktam

As he entered the home yesterday, he said “I may not be so expressive and I might not have given you attention as much as your parents and your friend. But you are very special to me and I bought you this as I felt you would feel the same warmth you had from other important people in your life” and gave me a pink princess basket. I must say I definitely felt like his girl kid, who would feel so elated to have the pink basket.

He had always given me attention and gets me a bouquet every now and then, no matter if its an occasion or not. I don’t know if a mere allusion of my parent’s and friend’s tenderness in my blog can make him feel like this!!!!

Its nice that am a child for someone (of course, the most important person in my life now) other than my parents and my friend.

I spoke with my best friend after a really long time. I have got many emails from that friend asking me to give a call when my time permits, but it took this unchivalrous stupid a year to actually do it. I spoke for about an hour. Thanks to my manager for having given me a permission to work from home :-) I wouldn’t have called even now, had I not known that the friend is leaving for Riyadh.

That friend had been with me since I was 13, I guess. We are friends for more than a decade now. When we spoke yesterday, we realized the friendship hasn’t gone down by even an ounce and we still stay at that reverent position in each other’s hearts. All our sentences started with “Remember when….” How nice it was to talk about our remarkable past!

We were laughing to the core when we talked about the very serious fights we had, it sounded so pointless now. I was the one who always initiated a fight (as its always the case with anybody for that matter, but trust me, am not very bad, just a little short-tempered and egoistic) and if I now come to think of it, my friend had been so patient with me, would never utter a word other than sorry, though I had been scornful, vicious and obstinate. I genuinely sought for pardon yesterday. I don’t think anyone can tolerate me like that other than that friend and I still remember my mom scolding that friend that am being spoilt by giving too much of attention and liberty which I am taking advantage of. My friend’s mom and my mom are so proud of our friendship which is still lasting, though we are so distant.

My friend also happened to be my junior in my college and I used to threaten that I would send some guys from my class for ragging :-)
I still remember those days when my friend had been so possessive and refused to give even my emailid to my other juniors LOL. That was funny!!!
Both of us used to watch our favorite movie telecast on a festival day, absolutely immune to all the festivities around. We wouldn’t even care about the bang of the crackers outside :-)
I used to cheat when we played Hollywood but never did a word come from my friend. I always won.

Hari says my parents and such friends have spoilt me, having given me too much attention that its hard for him to meet the same expectations of mine :-)

I miss those days. I wish there’s a way to travel back to those days whenever needed. But then am glad I don’t have a feeling that I missed a chance of having fun in those days. We enjoyed as much as we could when we got a chance to get together.

I know you are reading this my friend!
And I know you have a feeling that I haven’t been much expressive of my friendship all along!
Read this and rest assured that I have always missed you and I always will!

A.R Rahman. I was just staring at the screen for a while after writing his name for want of words. I was praying that ARR should win atleast 1 oscar, if not both. I was clasping the hands and biting my nails when they were about to announce who the oscar for original score goes to. When ARR’s name was announced, I was applauding, screaming and jumping. That was some moment. I was glad they got his name right unlike the Golden Globe. When he said about him having the same excited and terrified feeling he had during his wedding, I was surprised “Was it Rahman who just humored?” When he said “ella pugazhum iraivanukke”, the joy just multiplied. That’s something none would have expected in his Oscar acceptance speech.

I was so glad to see him performing on the Oscar stage and the fusion of Jai Ho with Wall-E was some magic. Did you guys look at the way he did his finishing pose of the performance? Every bit of him was awesome on the day.

I was scared when Hari said he might loose the Oscar for the song category due to split votes between O Saya and Jai Ho. But then he did it once again!! He deserves every bit of the awards. I cant stop watching this video.

Rusel Pookutty is another pride of India. The entire SDM crew is a marvel. I cant believe the kids can speak so well. They rocked on the red carpet.

Am not going to listen to any song other than Rahman’s for the next 1 week. He is decorating my laptop as the wallpaper. He is great in his Indian black dress. I hope Hari doesn’t mind, himself being a die hard fan of Rahman :)

For all those who raised controversies about the movie and for all those who threw mud at Rahman for accepting the offer to direct music for the movie:

Rahman is bringing home the Oscars guys!

Suck it up!!!

It feels good when “someone” makes a bread sandwich for your breakfast, places it in your bag concernedly with a paper towel in case you intend to have it while commuting, and does it by the time you put your shoes on before leaving to work, especially when you have decided to skip your breakfast as you are running very late.

It feels good when “someone” had done the dishes and the sparkling sink welcomes you when you get back home in the evening, especially when you had left a huge pile of dishes in the morning.

It feels good when “someone” unexpectedly calls you and says we’ll go for a movie and have dinner outside, especially when you are in no mood to do anything but still for the sake of it, will cook and do other house-hold since you are not of the type who says “lets have dinner out”.

It feels good when “someone” prepares something with little known, and wakes you up to make you have dinner, especially when you are dozed off after a shot (not the shot as in tequila shot but the one as in flu shot) and a tablet when you are ill.

It feels good when “someone” had surprisingly placed a bouquet of flowers before you when you wake up the next morning with a note “I don’t know what the reason is, sorry if I am”, especially when you had been low for some reason unknown.

It feels good when “someone” says you are a good cook and you’ll get better every time you cook, especially when you serve a dish with too much of salt in it.

It feels good when “someone” just politely says “this is not the girl I know of”, which is good enough to shut you up, especially when you let your temper far out of control.

It feels good when “someone” pats on your head and says “you are just a kid”, especially when you feel so stupid after committing a foolish blunder.

It feels good when “someone” reminds you are able by saying “I’ll suggest, but you have to decide”, especially when you want someone to decide for you, though it is so out of your character, you being a person who doesn’t want others to decide for you.

It feels good when “someone” is so supportive to say its okay to cancel a $1000 trip, especially when you are biting your nail, trying to complete your work hastily before you leave for the trip.

These look like excerpts from some chick-flick. But when these happen in real life, the bliss is just exponential to the mushy feeling you have when you see these in a chick-flick. And, you are able to cache and appreciate these only when they happen seldom. Else, the charm of these would have been long gone.

I saw everybody writing about their best of 2008. So I thought I would also join the whirlpool.

Best of 2008:

1. I became a full time employee of a reputed concern. One year of grueling contractorship got over and I am glad I wasn’t at the mercy of anybody to have me converted, it was rather a demand from my side.

2. I got car driving license. This might seem too preposterous to mention under this post title, but it was a great achievement for me. I flunked twice and got it right the third time. I have never had a sense for even riding a bicycle, let alone a car. I was great at the rules and scored 34 on 36 in the driving written test but pathetically flunked in the wheel test. Finally I got it. My wish is to drive a beetle, if not, atleast some VolksWagen. I haven’t got any yet. Let me see if I am able to put my beetle or VW as one of my best of 2009.

3. I met my family after a separation of more than a year and a half, reminding them of my almost forgotten face, letting them gasp “is that really her?” I had changed a lot during this span of being away from family and I was pleased to see that everybody welcomed my physical and mental change.

4. My wedding. I met a man who was everything I wanted my partner to be and I am lucky enough to marry him. The welcome rendered by the new family was overwhelming, as I had already become friendly with most of them, or as my friends would grossly lay it out, I had already put maska on everyone. More than anything, my dad got relieved off the biggest duty or rather a burden as the conformist in me conceives it.

5. My birthday gift. It was my portrait Hari had painted. I knew he was a painter but never knew he could paint so well. He used to go to sleep at 5 in the morning, saying he had loads of work, which was surprising for me as I had always known him as a smart-worker, not a hard one. When he gifted my portrait, I understood the meaning of all those sleepless nights.

6. I met Anand after more than 2 years. He had been “the” best friend in my life (and still is) or well-wisher as he says. It was great to see him here, actually to see his few months old kid more than him. Its always a blissful feeling to see your best friend after a really long time, especially when he surprises you showing up with his own child. And I met Shen, kullu and Sachi after a long time on my wedding.

7. I made a great improvement in cooking. While I was back in India, I didn’t even know what sauté meant (not literally but practically). While I was into this shared accommodation stuff here in US, I did start cooking, but there was always my roomie beside me to share the task and never knew if I could cook alone. But after wedding, cooking was/is being completely manned by me (needless to mention Hari is a lousy cook) and I was surprised to see I was able to cook well. We celebrated all festivals after wedding with vada, rava laddoo, jamun and payasam and stuff (I can never match up to our parents, but these dishes were decent) and got appreciation from my in-laws for observing all festivals without an elder’s help.

8. My dad sought voluntary retirement. He has worked really hard since he was 18 and I felt its time he bids a bye to work and rest at home. He is an enthusiast and cant sit at home. So he’s writing and composing songs right now (as he always used to when he found time) big time to keep him engaged (and this is just for his fun, not for commercial interests) and he’s into browsing and stuff. Good for him!!

9. Hari took a huge leap in his career, and became a manager skipping one level in the middle. It was like a double promotion and this happened immediately after our engagement. And everybody in my in-laws’ side said that am a very lucky girl. So sad that they forgot about Hari’s eminency :)

10. My physical examination results came out alright. I never underwent a checkup after coming to US. I normally keep watching my health as I am underweight. Not that any previous results came out with complications, but just have been playing safe. So any checkup is very important for an underweight gal like me and this thorough phy exam after 2 years pronounced me hale and healthy. And no doctor ever says that am underweight, I don’t know why and in a way am happy for it :)

Now I’ll go for the worst of 2008.

1. Fell ill on my wedding and I was ill throughout the span I was in India.

2. Sachi, who is one of my best friends met with a terrible accident and had surgery.

3. The economy depression, of course made us precarious as everybody else, though no major impact has happened yet.

4. I came to know that Hari doesnt have a good taste for chick flicks. Of course, chick flicks are for female audience and I cant expect him to like them, but then it would have been great if he can watch them, as I watch any crappy movie, no matter its boyish or girlish or kiddish.

5. I exhausted all my Personal-Time-Offs in my wedding and am running on negative now.

6. I wanted to go to Hawaii or Maldives in 2008 but neither happened.

These are all the worst things I can come up with and its good that I have my best outnumbering the worst.

As to the New Year resolution, I thought of vowing that I wouldn’t browse at work. But as we internet geeks would die if we relinquish browsing even for a minute, I knew this resolution would end up with an ill fate as its ancestors. So thought I wouldn’t take any resolution at all.

On the whole, 2008 had been a really great year for me, a memorable one indeed. If I have to retrospect in few years down the lane, 2008 would definitely be the top in the list, as I had some major happenings in my life.

Las Vegas - grandeur is its name. Our flight was about to alight in Vegas by 11pm Friday. There came a beautiful city into our sight below us. I was trying to catch the glimpse of the city, hopping in my seat though I was leashed by the seatbelt. The city was swimming in lights of different colors and the lights were so orderly in a pattern when I saw from above. I forgave the window seat to Hari as he said he wanted to take pics of Vegas from above but he wasn’t able to do a decent job due to shakes caused by flight turbulence. He had already been to Vegas and I was a Vegas Virgin, he should have at least let me enjoy the view. Scolding him for being so huge hindering the window and for having wasted his window-seat chance not managing to take pics without shakes, we were out from the airport and picked up our rental car. After a few miles drive, the Las Vegas Strip invited us. Mandalay Bay was the first one standing there and my mouth was wide-open and didn’t close at all till the end of the strip. What a splendor, what a luxury! It was definitely a feast for the eyes. I kept wowing for every casino I saw.

Hari had managed to get a good deal for a stay at what they call the best hotel, of course 5-star, in Las Vegas, THE BELLAGIO. It was 12 when we checked in to the hotel and I was quite intimidated by the well-dressed crowd in the casino. I wasn’t dressed for Bellagio, in fact, for Las Vegas at all as I was working till the last minute and started off from home in a hurry.

Our room was a marvel. We had switches to open and close the drapes in the windows. The restroom was so sparkling and modern and one can even dine there LOL. We didn’t manage to get a room with fountain view as we did a late check-in. We had a pool view, which wasn’t bad. I was in no mood to sleep but had to, as I was really tired coz of the day’s work.

We got up at 11 the next morning - Saturday. Yeah, Vegas isn’t about morning anyways, so what big deal in getting up at 11? We thought we would do a late night out. I got dressed up for Vegas (I didn’t wanna be a misfit) and we went out at 12.30 and thought we would gamble a little in Bellagio casino. We were just the silent spectators, sighing deeply at people who were easily playing the Black Jack and madly winning. As both of are pathetic in that area, we decided not to try anything other than the slot machine. We both gambled together and we lost, gained and we lost again. Hari always preferred the 5 cents or 25 cents slot machine, which was so boring and so I got a $10 note from him and went to gamble alone in a $1 slot machine. I turned the $10 into $20 and gave it to Hari, lifting my collar. Next time when I played Hari was there beside me and I lost everything. Boy, there’s some ill-luck about you that makes me loose when you are there :)

Then we started off. We decided that we would go for David Copperfield show on Sunday and went to MGM Grand to get the tickets. MGM had been my favorite from the view I had from the flight as it had all green lights, green being my favorite color. The interiors were fabulous. After a stroll in the MGM, we headed off to Luxor and Mandalay Bay. The parking was a nightmare everywhere. We were surprised as we had hard time finding a slot though the parking lot in every casino was so huge. The Luxor was huge with the replica of the great Egyptian pyramid, with an incomparable sky beam on its top. The interiors of Luxor were so modern and very different. If one looks up attempting to see the ceiling, his eyes will hit a triangle with staircase-like body. The stair-like form which you see from the bottom are all the corridors of the rooms in the Luxor hotel and we were so thrilled to imagine how it would be to take a look at the bottom from there. It was a lovely piece of architecture.

My primary intent of visiting Vegas was to see the interiors and the architecture of every casino/hotel and it was well served. I have always had an affinity towards Engineering Drawing during good-old college days and these casinos were making me feel bad for having not chosen a career in architecture.

Then we marched towards Mandalay Bay crossing a vast extent of shopping arena. The shops were ostentatiously standing there, tempting anybody who passed by. Hari should thank me for having not done a crazy shopping, I didn’t buy anything from Las Vegas in fact. There was one “Minus 5 Lounge” in Mandalay Bay. It was a room which was completely icy. The walls were made of ice, the sculptures were of ice, the sofas and chairs were ice, and even the cups they served drinks and juices in, were also ice. I was getting reminded of the ice palace in Die Another Day. We came out with a nice complimentary Eskimo cap. There were pretty girls outside the lounge, half-dressed in just a corset and a micro-mini skirt, to lure people into the lounge. We saw two guys taking pictures with those girls and guess who clicked them? Their wives with come-home-I’ll-get-you-drooler look on their faces.

We went to NewYork NewYork and found it to be a little quaint, not that great an edifice as the MGM and the others. We took a train back to the Luxor where we had parked our car. There were a bunch of guys in our compartment and they were trying to establish a friendly conversation with us. A guy amongst them was asking about the Eskimo cap I was wearing and said its not worth giving 30 bucks just for a complimentary vodka. I said we don’t drink but still I found the ice lounge worthy. Hari whispered “he’ll hug you when you leave. Just deny. The bloke is drunk”. I said “whatttttt” with a terrified look and tightened my grip on Hari. I managed to come out safe :)

Then we went to Fremont Street Experience. I had no clue what it was. Hari said the Fremont street was all about lights. It was awfully cold and windy and I was shaking terribly during our walk in Fremont street. The bright lights were dashing against my face. There was a street orchestra singing songs from 70’s and we could see couples dancing openly in the street. It was fun.

Then we went back to Bellagio to see the most renowned fountain show. The fountain was dancing to the rhythm of a song played and whenever the song reaches a high pitch, the fountain shot to a great height, almost till the top of the casino. It was wonderful. We had no energy left and so went to bed.

The next day we got up late as usual and by noon, we took a stroll inside Bellagio. We had a fruit tart in a cafe there and it was so good. I still have the taste in my tongue when I think of it. Then we went to Bellagio buffet for lunch. Buffet at a five-star hotel is a must-go as they say and we would have been in the queue for an hour. When we went inside, I was amazed to see so many items for desserts. A person who eats non-veg, especially sea-food would have a bonanza time over there. I, pretty much confined to Indian cuisine only, found it really hard to eat anything that was out there. I had taken a fried rice and saw something brown in it. I asked hari what it was and he said it should be some vegetable. I was so hesitant to eat it and so hari grabbed a spoon and had that thing and declared its chicken. That’s it. I almost threw up. Thankfully I hadn’t eaten it. I had only little Singapore noodles and switched to dessert. I took too many items and didn’t even manage to have half of them. I am definitely not a buffet person.

Then we went to Venetian. This was one casino I loved the most. They had artificial sky inside the casino and gondola rides, trying to keep it a replica of Venice. The ambience was so good and we could see some guys marching around the casino singing Venetian songs. I was in no mood to leave Venetian. It was certainly kindling my long term desire to visit Europe. Then we went to Madam Tussauds wax museum and I took pictures with all of the wax models, particularly envying and cursing Angelina Jolie’s wax model which was placed beside Brad Pitt’s. I was telling Hari “try to exclude her from the frame of me and Brad” :)

Then we went to Paris casino. IT was wonderful too giving the look and feel of France for us. We went to the observation deck of Paris which was at the top of 72 stories if I remember it right. It was piercing cold up there and the strip view was just beyond expression. We managed to catch 2 of the Bellagio fountain shows and I would have died for one view of the fountain from that height.

When we came out, it was almost time for our David Copperfield show and headed towards MGM. He was so amazing and the show was nothing like the ones I have seen before. He picked people from audience for making them disappear off the stage and Hari was almost making me stand on my toes with hands hovering high for me to be picked so that he can get rid of me for few minutes :) I would have been more than willing to be a participant too but I wasn’t picked. It was so good a show having the people disappear from the stage and reappear at the back of the theatre. We had managed to befriend a girl who was sitting beside us and was chosen as a candidate for the disappearing show. We enquired her what happened or how she felt. But she denied any info as all the participants had sworn to David that they would utter no word. What’s fun in magic if you know how its done?

We went back to Bellagio and I very much wanted to go to the night club at Bellagio itself for which we were holding complimentary tix. But I had no energy to change to my cocktail dress and we decided we would drop it off. That was a day!

The next morning we started at 5.30 from Bellagio and reached the airport by 6.30 only to discover that our flight at 7.30 AM had been cancelled. We had to wait for 12 hours in the airport not knowing how to kill the time. We had to bunk the office. Thank God, I had my Ayn Rand with me. We then decided that we should be in no laziness to pack our laptops during any journey. Finally we managed to get a flight back to SFO at 7.50PM. Hari gave me the window seat this time so that I could have the aerial view of Vegas. Good for him, he escaped my punches. He had promised me to take me in helicopter when I fought with him for not giving me the window seat on our onward journey, but he didn’t do so. This flight delay thingy was in a way good as I had the window seat and got the splendid view of Vegas.

Just then a guy beside Hari said a hello to us (ours was a 3 member seat). He didn’t look like an American as his slang wasn’t as pure as Americans. He sounded a bit like someone from Middle East. He was getting acquainted beyond anyone’s level of expectation and I started growing suspicious. I know its gonna be silly if I say I thought he was from an enemy country of India but that’s how I felt. He was speaking about his interests in travel, about economy and stuff. Hari turned to me and said “can you pls keep talking to me so that he doesn’t get me? God, this is the last thing I would want after a 14-hour wait at the airport”. I didn’t dare to look at that guy since whenever I looked at him, he started addressing me too. Suddenly during his conversation with Hari he said “mushkil nahin” and I was looking at him as if I confirmed him to be a terrorist. I nudged Hari “how the hell does he know Hindi?” Hari said “How the hell would I know?” I was looking at him dreaded and couldn’t refrain from asking him “Which country do you actually belong to?” He said he was from USA, Hawaii if am correct. He started speaking about his visit to India, that he went to Missouri, Simla, Agra and how he liked Taj Mahal and other historic places. It would have seemed to be a general conversation, had he seemed normal to me but now I felt “god, why is he speaking about monuments?” Hari placed his blackberry on the food tray and was looking through the window. I saw that guy taking out a beer tin and I had a weird feeling that he was looking at Hari’s blackberry. I didn’t want to say it to Hari as I thought he might feel am foolish. So I didn’t take my eyes off the blackberry as I felt that guy would take it when we are a lil loose and use it to send some message to someone in his gang and make us the victims of whatever plan he had. Then he asked Hari what are all the places worth visiting in India. When Hari was telling about Kerala, the guy asked him to write it down on a paper and I was worried as I thought he would do something with that handwriting. I know this is the height of paranoia. Finally we reached SFO and I was glad to get rid of that guy. He just turned out to be a passenger who was abnormally seeking a speech companion, nothing like what I thought. I was telling to myself “I should prolly stop watching CSI”.

That was Las Vegas for me. I like traveling and here I am awaiting eagerly my next trip to wherever Hari would take me. The day after our departure from Vegas, we heard that it was affected by snow storm. We were glad we were able to catch the last flight from Vegas to SFO the previous day!

I am done with Harry Potter series finally. I never had any inclination to read the books thinking that its for kids, until I saw Hari who abstained himself from the world around him since he wanted to read the final book of Harry Potter series without a meager disturbance, when the book came out. He also told me that there were people who completed the 700 odd paged book overnight, coz of the fear that the secrets of the story would fall into their ears from someone who has already read it. It was then I started reading the first one and I swear I was absolutely tied to it. I couldn’t think of reading any book other than Harry Potter and was so much influenced by it that my dreams were filled with it, my words adapted the style of some character or the other in the story, and I admit I started having crushes not only on the characters, but also on those who acted in the movies :) The movie cant even stand a zillion miles away from the book though. When Hari asked me what he could get for my birthday, the immediate response from me was “Harry Potter and the deathly hallows book”. I didn’t know then if I was happy since I would know what happens to whom finally in the long story or if I was disappointed as it was the last book and Harry Potter would be out of my life till the next movie half blood prince comes. However, I would have watched the movies atleast 3 times each and I will keep doing it.

The last chapter of deathly hallows was an ultimate treat. I was enjoying every line, every word of it. And the best conversation I like in the whole series is the one between Harry and Rufus Scrimgeour, the minister of magic in “Harry Potter and the half blood prince” when Harry denies Scrimgeour’s persuasion of him to work for ministry. It’s a heated conversation and I couldn’t believe how Harry had grown to be an adolescent, knowing to speak that much, his words impregnated with bullies. Anyways, it was a nice conversation and god knows how many times I read it.

Hermione had always been close to my heart and of course, Ron. I actually liked Rupert Grint better than Daniel Radcliffe in the movie. I loved Albus Dumbledore to such an extent that I was weeping so badly when he was murdered, and its nothing when compared to that on Snape at the end, whom I had always hated terribly till the last chapters of the last book.

I was hell-bent on not watching the movies before reading the books and I am telling you, I have been wise. The charm of the story will certainly be killed if the movie is watched first.

I actually wanted to write more but then, I started reading my favorite conversation in the series while writing this post, which has forced me to abandon writing. I am setting off to read all my favorites in the story. I am sure many of you would have read it already. But if there’s anyone who hasn’t, trust me, you are missing something really really big in your hobby.

J.K.R is the best. Can’t wait to read “Tales of Beedle the Bard”. I have already preordered the book and waiting for Dec 4th.