| Everyone encounters instances in life wherein major decisions are to be made. Life gave me too an instance 6 months back, wherein I had to choose between India and USA. I was sent to be onsite at the USA in March, 2007 by one of the giants of the IT industry in India. Discontentment crept into me during the initial days of my service at this giant's and as days rolled away, it ramified into a huge force that drove me to the brink of bitterness. It was at this juncture, I was sent onsite. After reaching USA, I had 3 months and 2 options in hand to decide. I could either choose to go back to India or seek a job in the USA and quit the current employer. I didn't have the luxury of taking more time to decide over as I had come on a 3-month assignment. Taking a week to discern if US is the place for me, I decided I would stay in US for few more years. I started floating my resume on my 6 th day in the US. My resume allured pretty nice count of companies and I managed to receive offer from 2 companies, out of which I committed to join the leader in my domain. I was put through certain undesirable situations by my then-current employer as I quit. After joining the new concern, I got an offer from the protagonist of Windows. Anyone would be tempted by such an offer and I was no exception. But I politely denied it as my conscience didn't allow me to ditch the new concern. Needless to say that the quit from my first concern was haunting me already and I wasn't ready for a double-haunt. Hence I decided to stick on to the committed company and here I am blogging sitting in my cubicle using the official laptop very effectively. At times I question myself – did I make a wise decision? The dollar salary here is fascinating. The work culture is pleasing. I learn a lot. I am independent here and this life teaches me to execute things being a solitary person. This life augments my maturity and confidence. There are no eyes which pierce into me when I wear different. The law is strict. Life is deluxe. My decision to stay here invited many wows from my friends, one said I am a bravado, one said I am a girl of achievements, one said he envies me. Parents are gleaming with pride telling people that their daughter is in the US. Relatives ask their kids to have me as a role model. OK….eazy…..enough of conceit. Apart from all these prattles, I cannot refrain from questioning me about my honesty, which I was considering to be one of my venerable traits. I was a newbie in the industry when I joined that first concern. It gave me a reverent place in the software industry by accommodating me in its family. It taught me professionalism. The credit of transfiguring me from a college kid to a corporate personality goes to it. I learnt time management. I got to know what prioritization is. I learnt how to team-play. It gave me an opportunity to go overseas. And one fine day, I say to it "am leaving ya". It seemed it slapped me on my face asking me "what happened to your resident loyalty?" I just say "M.Y.O.B." to it and proceed in my path, convincing myself that what I did wasn't something ethereal. Come on. Everybody does it! Brushing aside my remorse associated with profession, if I lay back and think about the personals, I become utterly nostalgic. I have money. Am I able to spend it over my dad's birthday? I am cooking. Is my mom able to see it and cherish it? I get laurels. Am I able to seek blessing from my parents? I have put on weight. Are my relatives able to see how I am? I am big time into "House M.D, Law and Order, Desperate Housewives". Where are "Airtel Super Singer, Saregamapa" allied with dad's comments? I get pat on shoulders for remarkable finds at work. Where are my cousin's hugs for telling him a forgotten line of a song? My breakfast is milk, rusk, cereals. Where r my mom's idli, upma, pongal? I cuddle up under comforter. Where is my grandma's lap? I sleep till 11 during weekends. Where are the nudges from mom? I hardly speak with my old friends. Where have all the sms's gone? I hardly remember birthdays of friends. Where are my friends who fry me in pan when I forget to wish them? ["fry me in pan" should be replaced with "baking me in oven". Well, am in the US man]. One email carries my wishes to my friends for their marriage. Where are my desires to fine dress myself for my friends' marriages? I say "can u call me after 9, incoming isn't free na". Where are my "cant u call me from your extention at office? Felt like speaking with u". There are many where's and why's in life. Though these questions about honesty, family are persistent, I still continue to stick on to my decision and I never repent it. Its just a phase which I face some day when time is graceful enough to render its support to make me think about these. Otherwise, life just moves on! Did I make a wise decision? – I would say yes. I haven't been skeptic about my decision making capability and I don't want to. |
Saturday, December 15, 2007
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6 comments:
Welcome to the brave new world of narcissism ( i mean the blog ) ...
Glad u are happy about the decision and welcome to amerikka .. or should i say mylapore FF 30 years as u r in south bay !
Undhan desathin kural
tholaithoorathil atho
seviyil vilatha
sontha veedu unnai vaa enru alaikirathu tamila
antha naadkalai ninai
avai neenkuma unai
nilal pol varatha
ayal naadu unthan veedalla viduthiyeda tamila
Well this is not to confuse u...
Nice blog to start with!
Anu, all the pointed that r jotted here are something very common and we should not ponder over these things...The battle b/w 'mind and heart' will always be there. Change is the only thing that never chages. U know better than me and your decision will always be correct.
Yeah it is difficult to digest the fact that though we have everything to take care of our beloved parents, we find it difficult even to spend time with them. Pizzas can't replace mom's dosas and just keeping in touch over phone is not the relationship. But what to do, these are part n parcel of life.
We will have to live with it... Time is the best medicine, it will all be over sometime from now...
Gr8 start... Looking forward!
Hari,
Would Mylapore take 30 years to become like this? May be less than that...
Kumaresan,
nyaabagam irukkiradhu
innaadu en vidudhi endru
naan ariven
emmozhiyum tamizhaivida azhagalla
ennaadum en naattirku eedaagadhu
ennaattin kaatrai moochai swaasikka
ennaattin kaiyal amudham unna
ennaattin madiyil amaidhiyai uranga
viraivil varuven
en vaazhvin perumpaadhiyai kazhikka
Sachi,
I admit that time is the best medicine but its the worst too as it is the one which reminds me of my sweet past. And thanks for being so confident in my decision making. :-)
Welcome to the world of bloggers.. and that's a good post to start off. I know what you went thru to make up your mind about staying back in the States v returning to India.
And btw, it is certainly appreciated when you take atleast a few mins off your busy schedule to call your friends, old or new. If you are too lazy to take the initiative yourself, atleast take the effort to return missed calls. :)
Marravai neril / phone il.
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